Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML
Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML
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Top comments
EnterSandman_fml 20
Well, dogs do love sausage.
alycion 39
My one year old husky likes to nibble when playing. Finally breaking him of it after months of trying. A combo of a shock collar that has a beep only setting and beeping him and putting him in his crate for a few minutes when he gets too wild. However, before breaking him, one of his favorite bite targets was my boob. Not fun. But huskies are worth the trouble. Best dogs for my personality.
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Comments (87)
yumyumpoptart 16
sorry to hear OP, but then again she is only a dog and doesn't know any better
BellaBelle_fml 23
"...she is only a dog and doesn't know any better." Have you not seen or heard of trained dogs? Granted, dogs are only animals and mostly behave based on instinct. But they are very intelligent animals and have the capacity, if trained properly, to do some pretty amazing feats. It takes only the most basic training to teach a dog not to bite.
unknown_user5566 27
Sorry OP, but I have to say you might have deserved it. The way you worded this FML makes me think you were playing with your pup using only your hands instead of a toy. I've found when you use body parts as part of your play time, it's hard to distinguish what is okay to nibble on, and what isn't.
KMtheDrummer 6
Have you ever had a dog?
unknown_user5566 27
Yes, I have two. I read the story as OP sticking their hands in the dog's face or something. If OP was just petting the dog, I doubt it'd decide to bite their genitals.
daringtoride 27
Good doggy?
DocBastard 40
How could she reach your crotch but not your hand? All I'm reading here is that your hand can't reach your genitals. Which means one of two things: 1) You have very short arms 2) ... Yeah, you know what 2 is. And you also know that having very short arms is incredibly rare.
Psych101 9
My guess is that OP was moving his hand around so that the dog could not get to it.
unknown_user5566 27
Maybe OP is Cee-Lo Green?
ICastillo 25
Maybe It was Shaq? All the dog could reach when she jumped was his marble sack.
perdix 31
I'm sorry your penis looks and smells like a Snausage.
Felling 14
I love Siberian Huskies ! :D
neurodoc 1
I take it that you aren't a big fan of ...umm... Doggie style.... any more. :P
ICastillo 25
You shouldn't have teased her so much, she just outsmarted you OP, but I bet she got to the toy after that.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doesn't matter, you have a husky!!!
Meow_Bitches 7
Owwwwwww D: Feel better soon OP!