Today, I was ordering food at McDonald's when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
I'm assuming it fell out of your wallet. YDI for that. A wallet is a terrible place to keep condoms.
sanem0808238036 0
FYL ....looks like life already ****** you with that condom
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Comments (73)
Subtext 10
No sense of humour, huh? Grow balls (and the other stuff). Then you might be needing a condom at some point...
jessxoxo28 5
lmao! wether he was kidding or not, still funny!
Fentown_fml 4
YDI for eating at Mcdonalds.
TheLetterZero 7
Funny, I agree.
Superawesomestev 0
Im confused. Is this an flm because you realized you will never get laid or that you have no sense of humor. either way your a dumb ass.
Geicogecko 2
flm? really? its fml ya dunce
jonny2x4 0
Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
ScaryyMary 14
You're saying it's better to NEVER get laid than to get laid with a little risk? :O What kind of human ARE you?
Superawesomestev 0
Also, what 22 said.
ninjb 0
PWNED
lady_unknown 0
You know… your friend is kind of telling the truth - the fact that you still even have it in your possession lol
Starcadia 0
I think the funny thing is how you refer to it as "My condom" not... "A condom"
GuerillaRated 0
Maybe it's engraved...
MwahFMLS 6
uhh, but he does refer it to "a condom"?
GuerillaRated 0
Ever notice how people that get laid a lot never have a condom and those that rarely get laid always do. I think it's because the people that get laid buy a condom and... USE IT!!! Not carry it around like a lucky charm.