Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML
Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML
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Top comments
turtleomnom 0
clearly we know deep throat isn't a talent of yours.
Nuahavizu 17
And here i thought that WALKING and chewing gum was tough :P
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Comments (201)
emilo_fml 0
So what was your mom thinking about your pants?
scruffy_janitor5 1
Autoerotic asphyxiation?
mrlopez 13
In other words, pleasurable s3x while being choked. But this one takes a slight twist with something really unexpected :P
gbreck 0
34- way to sum that up...
scruffy_janitor5 1
As your pic says, cool story bro
Qwrty_fml 0
Wow....weird much???
Enigmax2514 7
YOU.*******.DESERVE.IT Nuff said
StoryOfTheYear 15
I disagree.
Enigmax2514 7
How so? It was his decision to chew gum and ********** at the same time, and he should know that vigorous exercise will cause him to pant, inevitably sucking the gum down his throat. If it was not his fault, then whose is it? His mother for not teaching him the art of masturbating whilst chewing gum?
BrianAlarcon 0
Masturbating Fail!(x
ananonymousguy 0
Killuminati
lmfaohii 0
Ur right Killluminati cuz it's fake and worthless
stroudie94 9
I clicked YDI when I saw gum and masturbating. No need for me to read the rest.
Darnell1223 3
Wow shoulda just said u were scratching yourself u just had your pants around ur ankles to do it
iliketurdles 7
Explain the lotion and wads of tissue next to the bed?
manbearpig7173 0
With a boner?
PinkFun1969 9
Thank god you did not have a belt around your neck also!! make sure you have a locked door so no one can get in!! I am watching Avater.
aznpiboy24 5
dumbass then he would have choked and died, better to be caught and get the gum out than possibly dying
FurryRocks 10
Pink I have a stocking fetish so I got a huge boner when I saw you picture
cjhilde 1
Furry, i have a fetish for wolves with boobies so i have a boner too. Wanna touch tips?
FurryRocks 10
I also love furries
browncity23 0
dumbass... It's Avatar
Turukmactao 0
What did we learn today kids dont chew gum and ********** at the same time or somthing bad will happen :P. ps. dont do it !!!!
lizzieislovely 11
I think we've all learnt a very important lesson today...
lizzieislovely 11
Yeah, so LEARNT and LEARNED are BOTH right. The T is more common in Britain, whereas ED is more common in America. Also, "retart" would mean you were trying to say "retarded" apparently, which means you're sentence is a bit "retart" itself.