Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
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Top comments
limegreenpoopie 31
Oh I'm so sorry :( that sucks
inhindsight 11
Now that's not a cute look at all
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Comments (43)
itsalie 19
Who doesn't check the amount of TP before they go?
TheNewGuy03 29
People who are desperate. I've had instances when I just needed to get in there or I would have a mess on my hands (though that would literally be true if I had no TP). Fortunately, I had some tissue in my pocket, or there was tissue lying around somewhere that I was able to procure before the shit went down.
captainsmegma 12
I'm just curious if they did not properly stock the bathroom before the party why you wouldn't use a towel or the shower curtain?
Sigilwen 24
really...... the shower curtain? that's just wrong, disgusting, and rude.
Mooglefox 24
You must have really loved that underwear
Aspirax 13
Well, better than anugly food poisoning.
Homer1975 14
so be it OP .
samurai1833 16
Throw them in the trash go commando
worldclassrager 41
I think that this has to be the absolute worst thing that can happen to someone...
hardcorepunk87 18
Sounds like a good skit for Imodium run as a commercial.
badblaby 8
Why not throw the underwear away ?
speakfreely 21
Why not just throw your "soiled panties" away?