Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML
Slasher
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML
Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML
Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML
Reflex
Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML
Pincushion
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML
It hurts when I pee
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
Top comments
Maxine17 8
I have a cactus, but it's pathetic.It hasn't grown EVER and it's spines don't hurt. I'm sure if it had been MY cactus, you would have been fine :)
iKaite 0
OUCHY. :)
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Comments (42)
Wlollpop 0
well, you saved the cactus
Vonni 0
My mom used to have at least ten cacti in our house when I was a kid. Gosh, I hated running into things...
beastly13 0
lmao i cud imagine soimeone running around in their house when they knock into one cactus that makes them fall on the floor and then the shelf above it knocks over, making twenty cati fall on them. they wud look like the king at the end of 300
IceCream53423 0
on instinct? whose instinct is it to dive and pick up a heavy object falling from the air?FAIL!
AcesAndEights 0
Plenty of people would try to save an expensive vase from falling. Its just their bad luck if they catch a cactus instead. you fail.
rakhil11 7
Yeah, most people would do that.... Actually, I would jump back. But I know a lot of people would try to catch something....
Mordakai420 6
Jackie chan.
jazzmancarron 11
um, ouch.
Djtvdougui 0
here's finally a real FML
FerrariCake 2
With instincts like that it's amazing you survived to adulthood.
HUrullz 0
haha I agree
shakenbake93 0
Never! and I mean NEVER! assume that something is stable.
jujumigs 0
Wow sucks for you, want to go out sometime XD
Aerianna 0
On the upside, at least you have a sharp catch.
Ninjaface 0
That's a prickly situation.