Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML
Today, at work, I asked a lady how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she'd said, I just replied with, "Oh, that's good." What she'd said that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she asked me how I was doing. I replied, "Still alive!" like I always do. I forgot both of her parents recently passed away. FML
Today, my (now ex) best friend wore funeral attire to my wedding, and instead of a speech, she gave a eulogy, making it sound like my new husband had brutally murdered me. FML
Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
NinjaDitto623 14
How do you just forget that?!?!
Ebolaconflict 11
you deserved it
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Comments (105)
zatchmo 3
Lame attempt at humor. Poorly written and worded. I'm order to make up a humorous anecdote you need a bit of creativity, my friend. If you really wish to amuse people I suggest you attempt another venue, perhaps reading Dr Seuss to pre-schoolers.
enu_vastanii__ 9
It isn't supposed to be funny sometimes.. Hence 'FML'
brand125 17
the **** 13, you must be in the wrong place...
PotatoUnicorn 8
Don't you mean college?
awesomeamandas 37
college and university are the same thing. most people in the states say college where as people from other countries, such as canada where op lives, say university.
enu_vastanii__ 9
College and University are not the same thing. Not only here in Canada, it's not the same thing in a lot of places :)
littlekellilee 45
In Canada, you get degrees at University, diplomas at college, and technical diplomas at technical schools. You go to school for things like chemist at University, interior design at college, and plumber at technical school.
kmccain 27
Not even in the US is university the same as college. A university contains several colleges such as the College of Liberal Arts.
CrabbityAnn 10
Most people in America still aspire to go to college though. Can't think of the last time I heard an American talk about going to uni.
xoteeshaox 22
In Australia, college is the same as university.
mellyski 25
Why would OP write University if they meant college? (Sorry if this is obvious to some) how do you know they meant college?
zZLightZz 13
not the same thing dummies.
Soundslikeothers 15
I hope somebody used that Memory eraser thingy Men in Black use on you.
sjbartholome 14
They should use it on OP's friend so she forgets how insensitive OP was. Then again, OP deserved it very much!
JJ_V3N0M 19
Man. That must have hurt you physically, and her mentally.
wildsweetchild 19
I guess you are not too good of a friend. I'd slap you too !
Blippety 23
Just because OP's memory isn't great doesn't mean she's a terrible friend. I'm pretty sure we've all forgotten something important before.
soullyfe 33
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say either you have a twin who attended the funeral, or you just have horrible memory problems. That's the only way I could see this as a FML...
my_user_name_is 1
Some of you people have obviously never forgotten something before. We don't know how long ago the funeral was or when OP was at university.
oreoeater 21
I'm sorry but I don't see how u could forget going to a funeral
sjbartholome 14
Yeah cuz forgetting what you ate last week = forgetting a funeral, right!!! lol
CrabbityAnn 10
@52 for some people it doesn't matter how important the event is, a bad memory is a bad memory. I forget important stuff all the time and often need my husband to describe things we allegedly saw/did/heard. (And no, I'm not an OAP with Alzheimer's - far from it).
brokenjawskhan 21
Losing a soulmate is the worst feeling in the world :(
zZLightZz 13
losing a child is worst.
jewelia13 12
No, you're not the only one - I thought they were sitting there having coffee at the reception or something.
buckdharma 38
You made a grave mistake.