Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML
Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
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Top comments
AmpulexCompressa 0
Uh oh, the girl you want to get with doesn't know you exist. Your life clearly sucks.
hk_fml 9
O_o well then tell her you sit to the left of her in biology! Maybe she'll feel a bit bad about it and you'll be able to use that to get her to go out with you?
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Comments (105)
nutella89_fml 0
first off, you're an ass. wtf is your problem ? do you say that kinda things to girls ? because shit, if you do, i dunno who those "three grls" were they were slightly stupid big breast nymphos with daddy issues and a tendancy towards self loathing. second, do you realize you repeated that you were not misogynistic like ten times in your ******* bible of a post ? that spells misogynistic and failed self validation to me. thirdly, I might inform you that all girls arent actually the same. in your post(s) you give the golden rules, de Dating Code all guys have to follow to get bitches in their beds. well firstly girls arent all bitches, in fact, despite what you may jerk off to wathing american cinema, most arent. but most of all, you say that kind of stuff to one girl, lets say you get her. the next one won't necessarily respond the same way. you said earlier that girl didnt ACTUALLY want to be said "i love you" to. that its just a ploy to see whats gonna happen. well your stupid. some need it to feel that they are n ot wasting their time with a guy like you for instance. others run away in a second if they hear those words. some react to hardcore, direct, almost vulgar flirting, and others prefer a more suptle way. some enjoy dirty talk, while its a complete turn off for other. a lot of the time grils dont like an arrogant guy who thinks he's the best she can do and its her last chance to get a decent lay. a funny self mocking guy, yes, a guy who knows he's hansome, sure, a guy who's not depressed and self loathing, definitly. but a guy who's in love with himself bc "he's the SHIT", no way. bottom line, get back to earth, wanabee you don't have all the answers. I can so picture you as a total geek, a complet fantom in the halls of your highschool, who can only validate his existence by reinventing himself on the internet as the hot sexy womenizer he always wanted to be. I supposed your a quarterback on the footbal team and that you date all the cheerleaders ? be less cliché, you'll get more dates. only a loser would say "i had sex 6 times with 3 different girls in 2 weeks in 17 diferent positions and on the principal's desk !!" liar.
my_fml_account 2
Well written, procative, but also quite long I grade you 7/10, decent trolling.
DameGreyWulf 1
Sometimes I doubt he's trolling, since he posts just as long UNprovactive posts... Rather scary, isn't it?
another_guy 0
so where is FML here?
noshitsherlock 0
Uhhh... that he's a spineless loser who has NEVER even talked to the girl he has a crush on and she was oblivious of his existence. LOLOL
besad_fml 0
Omg!! A girl you like doesn't remember you!!! You're life is over!! This is just as bad as all the fmls about their gf/bf break up with them.
Ridyn 0
At this point she finally thinks you're interesting, so best thing you should do is act like the new kid and then end up dating her. don't be mad because she's never noticed you before, if you're some ugly sonbitch, of course she won't even glance at you. maybe you got rid of your acne, or something.
QTp13 10
LoL, one word - N E R D
Eltsc 0
This doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong with you - she might just have a really bad memory for names and faces. It took me two years to learn to recognise all the people in my class.
idrivefast 0
She must be really bad with faces or only pays attention to the teacher? That's pretty wow though that she wouldn't remember who was sitting next to her. The guy who sat next to me was pretty damn fine himself, but he was a very quiet person.
idrivefast 0
I bet you're one of the guys I'd either: a.) Laugh at while you're hitting on me at a bar; or b.) come up with some stupid story so I don't have to speak with you. Men are easy to read if they are being a total fraud, unless you're dealing with a girl who is a few screws short of a hardware store.