Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at my job at a McDonald's. I was on my break, so I went to use the restroom. When I finished, I tried to open the door, but the lock broke. I was stuck in the basement bathroom for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML
Today, at work, after a visit to the bathroom, the lock broke in my hand and the door was jammed. I called the janitor on my cellphone and told him about the situation. He told me to fill out a complaint and leave it in his post box. He then hung up. FML
Today, I got locked inside my apartment due to the locking mechanism being stuck, so I had to call off work. They refused to believe me, and insisted that I be in on time or else there would be disciplinary actions taken. Maintenance wasn't available till 3 hours into my shift. FML
Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Who deliberately takes a crap at work if they know it's "going to take awhile"? Why would you take your ipod with you? Where do you work that they pay you to take 30-minute craps and listen to music? YDI.
fatass123 0
How long did it take you to type up that list? I think that's an FML right there: "Today, I spent 20 minutes thinking of all the different ways to say "masturbating" just so I could post it online... FML."
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Comments (58)
blondiepants_ 0
now sue them >:]
Skull_300 0
You get caught Choking Kojak, Clearing the Snorkel, Dating Miss Michigan, Engaging in Safe Sex, Taking the Monster for a one-armed ride, Spanking the Monkey, Pounding your Pud, Butter Your Corn, Crank the Shank, Cuff the Carrot, Five Knuckle Olympics, Choking the Chicken, Greasing the Pipe, One Man Tug-O-War, Pounding the Proverb, Wax the dolphin, Play the upright organ, Polish the purple helmet, Tickling the turkey, Tenderizing the meat, Beating the **** out of your best friend, Boxing the one-eyed clown, Meating with Palmela Handerson, Warming up dinner for the alter boys, Painting the walls, Playing five against one, Holding the sausage Hostage, etc...? or were you taking a shit?
dcstream 0
*hostage *Or Way to ******* fail. Everything else in your post in now forfeit.
fatass123 0
How long did it take you to type up that list? I think that's an FML right there: "Today, I spent 20 minutes thinking of all the different ways to say "masturbating" just so I could post it online... FML."
FML_is_My_Life12 0
haha i totally agree, #12.
KumoFF7 3
YDI for pooping.
Josato 0
The lock picking and knocks were all an elaborate lie on my part. I just knew you couldn't hear so I burst in for a bit of the action.
waterynuggets 0
Roflmao @ #12
USMC_Marine 0
Wow you wrote everyone except for beat your meat.
STYLE_E 0
lol
failboatrollover 1
just lol
owneditup 0
y does he haf to pik the lok? cudnt he just call sum1 and get a key
MissLizWolf 8
You are a complete loser, @10...
cwl727 33
Why do you have to spell like that #49
cwl727 33
What would you sue them for?
derpderp 0
how embarassing
Shyman4ever 0
Epic win
dont_stop_believ 0
Dude seriously don't blame the iPod. it did nothing wrong :D I agree epic win
gofriars 0
always leave one ear open on the toilet
GelatinFemur 0
Seriously. How freaking loud could the music have been? I can always hear things around me even when I'm listening to my ipod.
BLNovelist 0
IT's possible they just tuned out everything around them - I know I tend to do that if I'm listening to music of any kind, no matter the volume. You could probably set a bomb off beside me and I wouldn't hear it.
drdingus 27
Agreed
danielrp34 7
I think I would see his feet IF its in a stall. Was it, or do you have actual rooms?
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
#4 speaks the truth. FYL, I do the same thing.
drzhottie148 0
Aren't there other stalls. Next time leave one ear open, that way you will hear the knocks and tell them to let you take a shit in peace.
lucky0514 0
YDI for having to have your ipod with you every-effing-where
littlegolferboy 4
So do I (I loves me my Bookworm Adventures), but I still clicked YDI because they obviously had their headphones in and that's why they couldn't hear the knocking.
evangldbrg 0
If you get bored from taking a shit (something that should take less than 10 minutes) You should be classified as mentally retarded.
humorizer 14
What the heck? 10 minutes?! I'm usually in and out in under 4. I mean, sure maybe if I had an extreme case of diarrhea, but in general cases... anything more than 5 is disturbing.
oarisimo 4
lol @ 18. I totally agree
AntiChrist7 0
"It would take a while" What are you, 70?
BurnDammit 0
What if he is? And still,some people do have problems,and everyone has them sometimes,atleast once in their life.It doesn't even matter on their age!..Seriousily,think before you comment..
lsinc20 5
maybe he wasn't taken a shit!
bobtea 1
He had to pick the lock? Like, he didn't have a key? What kind of place is he running?