Today, I was given the following pearls of wisdom: "My grandmother always told me, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Anyway, she was a cunt and so are you." Thanks, dad. Thanks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML
Today, my aunt's last words to me were, "Don't be an idiot". FML
Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML
Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML
Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that, "Old people are allowed to tell the truth." FML
Today, I confronted my dad about his horrible attitude toward women. I pointed out that a man with as many sisters and daughters as he has, shouldn’t refer to women who’ve had children as “damaged goods”. He laughed and said, “Ah well, once it’s been blown out, it’s no good to anyone.” Thanks dad. FML
Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
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Top comments
stieglar 17
So what does he say when he's mean???
Emmamazing 26
I don't think he listened to her very much...
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Comments (45)
acertwo 17
Your father doesn't sound very nice...
KhaleesiDannie 26
Sounds like your better off being a **** like your grandma then being an ass face like him
tlnorman 18
That's a really nice Dad you have there. Wow what a dreadful thing to say to your own child. Filthy language.
ColCyclone 17
Wow that's a serious thing for a dad to say. either you seriously deserved it or your dad is the ****
idk_rose 25
Well, if you're anything like your grandmother (and nothing like your father) then you must be nice.
Mr_Swazi 11
Was he being honest?
xTommytheGUNx 15
the real question. is OP a ****?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Well at least he didn't call you a cat flap.
TheSulkingDead 14
Everyone is saying the dad is a jerk...what if she is actually a nasty person. You don't know.
more4me 27
Sorry but that still doesnt make it right. You can call someome a bitch and get away with it somewhat. But you dont go calling someone a **** unless you *really * hate them . Very hard to come back from using the C word on someone . Thats why you probably shouldn't use it at all, let alone on a relative! OPs dad is a huge **** for disrespecting his mother and OP that way.
MoxleyCrue 17
33, I call my best friend a **** on a regular basis. The stigma of that word doesn't exist everywhere. In Scotland people call each other ***** all the time.
SkullsRules1 26
Same in Australia, it can be used affectionately as well. All depends on the context and wording . eg. He's a Shit **** = Insult He's a Mad **** = compliment
more4me 27
Yeah, in the States, not so much.
Scarylizard1798 23
Parenting done right...or wrong...depends on ur sense of humor xD
Pinto_2015 9
wow...serious daddy issues...