Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
tyghl55 4
Lol pass that bitch the clippers
sweetgurl14 2
Sick! Tell her to shave once :/
shamisthomas 0
No joke
brookeinator13 0
...u made me pee myself I laughed so hard!!
DocBastard 40
Here we go...I'm prepared for the thumbs down onslaught, but **** it. Ladies, not every man wants their woman's ****** to look prepubescent. Some men like their women to look like WOMEN, so shaving isn't right for everyone. Pubic hair is no more disgusting than any other hair.
Okayitwasme 0
Trim is nice. Guess what? When guys shave down there ... It looks bigger. Trust me, less hair = less smell.
causticgirl 6
Don't fool yourself. you have to have a butt load of hair for shaving to make you "look bigger". pretty sure you are deluding yourself. There is a reason for hair down there. I'm not saying don't trim, but why does anyone want to look pre-pubescent???
KiddNYC1O 22
Yes. Women should have the landing strip, at least.
bizarre_ftw 22
Thank You Doc!!!!! My head has been exploding this entire FML!!! The opinion is so one sided!!! Wtf?!!
jorfaw29 0
That's disgusting! Shaving takes hardly any time out of your day. Just shave it off!
squid93 9
Exactly, dont shave at all, let it grow nice and natural so the guys like me who love a hairy bush can enjoy it. Shaved looks to pre-pubecent and wrong!
OFFICERxNASTYxx 0
Anyone else get a stiffy after reading this?
mojo87 14
As others have said, lucky there wasn't more damage caused by the braces... Side tracking from the FML, why does everyone on here seem to be saying to shave rather than wax? Stubble isn't exactly great :S
Okayitwasme 0
Ouch! I've done it and it's not a great place to pull hair. Some times they become ingrown. I recommend trimming. Lol
mojo87 14
That's why you never do it yourself! Hurts much, much less if you get a professional to do it. If you exfoliate, you'll avoid most ingrowns. Fair enough on trimming tho.
IbanezSprinter 0
Waxing down there? Are you crazy?! Ouch.
mojo87 14
Waxing isn't all that bad at all - as long as you get someone who knows what they're doing. I much rather a bit of pain, compared to dealing with itching regrowth from shaving.
CptRomen 0
good one Chewbacca mouth.
DawnMarie11 0
Just gross, what female doesn't at least trim!?!
babelini 12
Eww and ow! :O
Luck77 6
owch. bet that woke her up.