Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I told her that I'd never watched The Lion King. FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML
Today, I went on a date. I'm a big Disney fan, so naturally the topic came up. He said, "The only Disney movie I didn't really like was Pocahontas." I have a Pocahontas tattoo. FML
Today, my girlfriend was finally in the mood, when all of a sudden I start hearing loud demands for Elmo. By the time I got the movie started for my son, my girlfriend was completely asleep, in her négligée. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
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Top comments
def10nes 0
Your life doesn't suck. You have someone that wants to watch a fun, charming movie with you. Appreciate your lady ... you have one. The meaning of life isn't sex.
LiishaNiinahx 0
disney movies are amazing ;D <3
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Comments (138)
shadowshunter 2
Lol why are you in the kitchen!
angela_nkina 7
That movie is good
Minou_fml 22
If she wants to watch a movie instead of having sex with you, that's her choice. She is in no way entitled to fool around/have sex with you, even if there was a good home-cooked meal involved. If you're that upset because she wants you to spend time with her instead of inside of her, you need to check your priorities. Sex is not the point of a relationship, and should not be the ultimate goal of a night spent together.
blondie147 10
why not both?
fantasyworld 39
That's a good movie.
lucasjames22 8
can she only do one activity a night? couldn't you two have sex after the movie?