Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I was taking a shower and the glass sliding door was jammed. I tugged it, and it shattered all over me. I was naked. FML
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Top comments
Domonator 16
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
xkonstantine125x 7
Eucalyptus Spearmint from Bath and Body Works is amazing stress release stuff. Just sayin'. Sometimes when I'm stressed I'll have a drink and it helps. But drugs and getting shit faced? I'll pass on that.
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Comments (75)
zomfgzomfgzomfg 0
Wait, you "accidentally" dropped it. But you "forgot it was made out of glass". What the hell, is it just me, or does that sounds intentional?
dance_till_dawn 0
Soooo...would you "accidentally" not have dropped it if you realized it was glass?
vtranchitella14 3
fake. nice play off of family guy though
cwl727 33
says the FML is fake
fxdxhk90 0
What brand was it, Jack Daniels or Jerkens? err I mean Jergens.
slushpuppy123 0
HOLY CRAP SHE CUT HER FINGER!! SOMEBODY GET THIS GIRL THE ER!!!!!!
Alkix 2
"Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion." It almost makes it sound magical doesn't it? I wonder if they have lotion of ogre strength so you can be more fit?
flame1819 0
You know that, and the lotion that removes the FAT off the back of your legs, doesn't work, right
bigdickprick 0
The blood is weakness leaving your body.
omgzdude 0
don't waste money on that crap. it doesn't work.
globulerouge_fml 0
"stress relieving lotion" hahaha