Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Today, my father got drunk and became crazy. He just kept talking nonsense and swaying while walking. It seemed like he was going to vomit. I hate him being like this. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Just out of curiosity, how old are you? No matter what, he's definitely a hypocrite. Sorry!
myFMLname 8
Oh, the irony
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Comments (79)
kms1777 6
Ahah, he's a drunk bastard. If you got really p'od you could have got him arrested for bring publicly intoxicated. But only if he was acting like an ass!
Ciraxas 7
You can't have someone arrested for drinking a bottle of wine at a restaurant....
boycrazy30007 12
Doesn't matter if he's a hypocrite OP is under age if they have to sneak.
ZeroZoom 6
Niall?
TurquoiseJesus 15
I'm going to assume it would take more than most of a bottle to become outrageously drunk (just guessing, I don't drink). As such, the dad might not be a hypocrite. Perhaps OP has a history of heavy drinking (regardless of age), in which case, the dad would have been less of a hypocrite and more of a jerk. Not saying this is necessarily the case, but as with every FML, all the details are never shared.
nmlutgen 11
Do as I say, not as I do. Classic parenting.
Wii624 5
Lol and your in England? Doesn't surprise me :P
CustardAndPie 13
Hey, we may all be pissheads here in merry old England, but at least we know the difference between "Your" and "you're" by the time we leave primary school, #43. :)
ilovefall10 21
Sorry OP, but I can't help, but to think you are too yong to drink. Which would explain why you would try something like that.
Oakleysroc 0
dad must not have told you it was byob lol
Ohmyheaven 6
Get a job and buy him dinner damn it. Did you forget to thank him for taking the family out to dinner?
stupidpplsuck 33
it said no where in this post that the dad took them out, for all we know OP could have been the one to pay or it could have been the mother or a grandparent or any number of people. Just assuming the father is the one paying is a very sexist ways of thinking
StanSmith2013 26
If your over 18, go buy your own alcohol!