Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Good question
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Tricksters
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Anger management
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Future Darwin Award
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML
Top comments
agaba 0
Well u shouldn't have been drinking in the first place and yea ik I'm a buzz kill
IAmTheHeavens 0
Wonderful role model.
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Comments (108)
McMike10 1
I swear to drunk I'm not God!
yamatelle 19
There is too much blood on my alcohol system.
deviable 9
No officer, YOUR pants are on backwards.
flockz 20
i ****** a goat.
THE_A_TEEN 28
#32 Nice to know, achmed the living terrorist. No officer, i'm not wearing a bra outside of my shirt...
the_enigma1019 1
My friend, alcohol is not a toy, (sips expensive wine) back in the fourteenth century, I remember kings envied those who drank it as casually as the packaged urine we now know as beer - the enigma
castrosabeast 7
NO BEER UNTIL YOU FINISH YOUR TEQUILA!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Did you just gave me a bottle of tequila with a silly straw? Nice futurama ref. Dude
Sienna420 4
Sounds like a normal Saturday morning at my house.
sarahmcgeee 5
do as I say not as I do? he's still your father, and no matter how insane they do know what's best
ohmandapants 17
Oh really? So the father who beats his kid within an inch of his life knows what's best? A crack addicted mother who gave birth to a crack baby knows best? Parents are not the center of the universe and they are not all-knowing.
1bluesky1 6
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
Cassidy_FML 8
#21 haa, right?! like father like son. he should be proud, hes following into his footsteps:P
omgthatsosuppera 4
And yet he wonders if you would ever get influenced
zombiekitten87 12
Well, op, I don't know if you're underaged or not, but 1) he's an adult so he can drink tequila if he pleases and 2) if you didn't enjoy his semi-drunken lecture, just remember that he's looking out for you, and giving you an up-close look at the effects of alcohol. Not to say it's not annoying to be lectured by your parents, especially when they are doing the same/equal value of wrong-doing as you, but that doesn't mean it's not necessarily a worthless lesson.
CassieStrawbs 7
If you're underage, you're obviously going to do it anyways so he should just skip to the "as long as you're careful" speech.
perdix 31
His house, his rules. He can **** your mom, but you can't. Yeah, life can be unfair, boo-******-hoo. Get a job and get your own placed -- you can get shit-faced every day, but still won't get any from your mom.
tacotimemanager 0
wow that's way out bringing moms into it
obamathellama 0
From his dad*