Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
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Top comments
sushi_samurai 3
Warning: lame joke below. That mouse has his eye on you...
nancem 7
Evidently fear is not a factor for you!
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Comments (149)
KiddNYC1O 22
At least it's not rats.
imcharp 5
Next time he rolls his eyes at you just pick them up and roll them back. Hahahahaha
chels1994 11
If I was cleaning up mouse parts, I wouldn't be "squeezing" anything
SkrillexXD 6
Yumm...
colberding 0
Yes because when I see something round on the floor I squeeze it...duh
pock_fml 2
blank_jack, I live in the countryside with two cats and yes it is normal to find mouse remains all over the place, anything from a gall bladder to a whole one, although never a ball. At least I was lucky not to step in intestines today... CoconutSoup & FYLDeep, the UK is officially rabies free, with the last case in England over 100 years ago. I don't KNOW why I did it. I just really, really didn't think anything would happen...
FYLDeep 26
That's good to know. I guess just take what I said as general advice. For people in the US, if you've been bitten, or have had blood to blood contact with a wild animal, at least bring the animal in to get it checked out. They can still find out if the animal was rabid with enough time to give you the vaccine afterwards.
blank_jack 0
So its normal having mice in ur house? Fix the holes instead..
pock_fml 2
Living in an old farmhouse, yes.
marissa246 0
thats just down right nastaaaaay
icy37 10
who the **** would squeeze an unknown object found close to the site of dead mouse.
koolkat27 13
to see if it's solid obviously!
ajjucool 0
thats disgusting..
weepingangel_fml 7
'Twas the eye of the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater.