Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I was eating a donut and watching TV with my cat. I saw a dark glob on my shirt and ate it, thinking it was dropped icing. It was my cat's earwax. Disgusted, I ran to the bathroom and tried to rinse with hydrogen peroxide. I sprayed it in my eye. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML
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Top comments
sushi_samurai 3
Warning: lame joke below. That mouse has his eye on you...
nancem 7
Evidently fear is not a factor for you!
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Comments (149)
SkardeyKat 3
It's totally normal to pick up mouse guts off the floor and squeeze them to see if they're solid. How else will you learn what mice are made of?
carrol 0
Oh, my god!
causticgirl 6
Mmmmmm a little jelly for your toast
dj8798 9
FYI eyes don't retain their round shape after death. so it was prob a nut. next time taste it. lmao that was so gross I'm sorry.
cykotic101 0
What possessed you grab it and squeeze? Why not just poke at it?
graham11 14
Someone put steroids in the cheese
Yetifoot 0
Why would there be mouse heads in someone's room?
cassi135t 1
Finds a bomb: Oh, yah I don't know what it is so... yah I'll just throw it on the ground and see what happens. Same scenario, ends bad.
InfernoVivo 12
Well, I SEE what your problem is...
blacksswan 10
Lol cats bring home dead animals in form of presents for their owners to express their appreciation for all the owners do for them. They don't know we find that nasty. This is another reason why I keep my baby indoor. Hahahha poor you OP. How did it taste o.o gross.....
shrdlu 28
Not only that, but my favorite cat ever, not having any kittens of her own, tried to teach ME how to hunt, the same way her (cat) mother taught her. She got as far as lesson one with me several times, but finally gave up because I showed no interest at all.
blacksswan 10
That's so cute!!! I love kitties! Sadly mine was taken away from her mom at a young age and put right into a foster home where I came across her 5 months later so she has no hunting skills what's so ever or any idea about what the outdoor world is like so I keep her inside for her own safety. Only once in a while I take her into my yard for fresh air and she either sits around looking confused, munching on grass, chasing flies lol. I watch her of course.
JinxosGirl87 0
My cat stays indoors, but she still manages to leave me dead roaches on my bedroom floor. I wish she understood how much I fear roaches -.-