Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
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Top comments
normandin131 0
You would think someone would know it's poop before throwing it.
Jimboom 12
Nice. Just be grateful they aren't calling you poopy faced dog breath now. See, it could have been a lot worse.
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Comments (52)
were_giraffe 2
YDI for throwing the dirt at each other. do that on your own property
theMOOSEx3 0
LMAO that stuff can actually hurt too, we used to peg eachother with it at softball practice when they did that to our field. haha and it really does look like dog or geese crap too
barton_richbell 0
My teammates and I. Your grammar is covered in dog poop too.
fylfmlydi 0
"My teammates and I" looks like proper grammar to me...
rukusrazor 0
Thank you #14 & #13. Apparently the ground's keeper doesn't do a very good job maintaining the field. I'd go after him.
fantome_fml 0
The kid that threw it at you knew it wasn't dirt
chanceuse_fml 0
#13 really? Because in the U.S., its called soccer, if you didn't know. Yes, its called futbol in other countries, but this is an international site.
Bliepje 22
In what country exactly is it called futbol? Cause I cannot think of one single country :p
killface_fml 0
#9, you're a dumbass. It's "You're" not "ur", "you" not "u", and "knew" not "Knew" More importantly...DID you ate it?
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
#13, YOU FAIL
Demon_Squirtle 0
Doesn't this sound like some young kid made it up giggling non stop while doing so? "We were... lets call it a dirt fight... those cylindrical dirt thingies... Hehehe.. .and then... I got hi...it... PFFT... in the face... with DOG POOP! AHAHAHAHAHA Oh this will be so funny!" It's usually very hard to confuse a piece of feces with mud.