Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML
Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
OP this is so serious. Please PLEASE press charges! she is dangerous and needs help. and you need support as a victim of an awful crime. you should get compensation. hopefully a good plastic surgeon will be able to fix the initials.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Make sure you introduce her to those assault and battery charges.
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Comments (42)
fabs1171 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sorry OP but I’m calling BS on your FML. If you’d had a loss of consciousness that lasted long enough for her to carve her initials into your face AND a trip to the hospital before you ‘woke up’ you would have a significant traumatic brain injury that means you’re unlikely to have the ability to write an FML the day it happened or potentially ever again. A brain injury that severe is likely one you wouldn’t survive from. Now it may be that you got into a fight with the chick but i think you embellished the rest. Either way, she’s a mole
adelaine782002 17
what do you know about traumatic brain injury, I had one as a corrections officer and went home the same day and took care of two small children and house..I was knocked out for ten minutes..maybe op wrote this the following day
adcf04619 8
holy ******* shit! press charges op. ASAP
WHSKitty4ever 23
Can we say, “psycho”? Please tell me that she got arrested
WHSKitty4ever 23
How the **** can someone say YDI on this? Ik that some females can be overly possessive(as obviously this C U Next Tuesday is, but still. No one deserves to be assaulted!
Emily Hill 9
Press charges she's liable to kill you if he breaks off the relationship for assaulting you
Mungolikecandy 19
That is some psychopathic crazy going on there. Press charges, go for compensation for the trauma caused and the surgery required as the next time she does it there will probably be a murder.
mas12806 24
For TALKING to him? What the…
roguespartan113 15
Two words:PRESS CHARGES. also go to the principal and report her
canadianmom 2
I really hope you pressed charges!!
Zeke 2
Who the **** would say that this person deserved it? You're as bad as the assailant