Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML
Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML
Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
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Top comments
fatalkiss 0
She's embarrassed because now she looks like a paranoid bitch who jumps to conclusions. So to justify her behavior, she marks you as "the asshole". It's obviously her own issue. Hopefully, she realized that soon.
Freeze_fml 17
That's how it goes unfortunately.
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Comments (251)
imperialtl 12
you can never win with women this is part of the problem.
dance445 4
bahahahahaha sucks to be you!
gdcoll01 2
you can't win with girlfriends u **** them then be done with them
pike1346 3
u can never win with women.
largecat15 0
Haha you gotta love women.
AubreasLuv 1
you can't win
kathryn_21 5
Don't you know you can never win with a woman.
sportygirl8512 0
she's probably lookin for something to break up over
nostalgia82686 2
I love that people think they know the whole situation from such a small post. This is the wife of the poster and I was cheated on in a past marriage it was very damaging on me and my trust. Current husband knew about my issues before he married me and I have been going to therapy to help me change the way I think and feel in certain situations. This situation just happened to be the perfect fml post he has been waiting for so he posted it and we laugh about it. I only called him an asshole because he put me on threeway with his mother which was embarrassing and the fact that he told his mother I called it a hooker earing. I feel that he should not have got me on the phone with her and simply ask his mom if it was her earing like I had asked. But anyways he loves me even though I have issues to still work out and I love him for being understanding of my situation and in honesty that is what true love is to help eachother grow and learn to become better.
MidnightMusic53 37
At least you two can laugh about it now. It's been 2 years since you posted that you were getting help for your trust issues, I hope all went well. I'm sure you can see why people did jump to those conclusions though, considering the character limit kept your husband from explaining it like you were able to. Unfortunately, it looks like everyone else who commented after you failed to notice your post explaining the situation. I can understand why you were embarrassed, but perhaps "asshole" was a bit of a harsh thing to call your husband. However, I do not know what your relationship with your husband is like, so forgive me if I'm wrong. I hope you two are still enjoying your marriage, and are still laughing about this incident.
xXNickiiBabyXx 11
wow thats dumb she didnt believe it was your mothers...thats not an excuse ive ever heard...and frankly most men wouldnt use their mom to lie about...and if your mom can back it up than your fine but i dont see how your an asshole you just had to prove you werent cheating thats dumb