Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, I lost control of my car on a patch of ice and slid off the road, messing up my car. I was working on a news story about bad road conditions. FML
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Top comments
pinkygirl_fml 0
this sounds exactly like an old fox trot cartoon... exactly like it.
waywardson 0
There is no way that would be the headline on the front page of a newspaper. That's for news, not newsflashes for morons. Plus, yeah, I've read this foxtrot strip. What's the point of posting FMLs if they're not true?
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Comments (117)
Compass 0
Fun fact: The more you curse, the less pain. So go ahead and give Jesus as many middle names as you'd like, you'll feel better in the end.
kasumii 1
From what I see, he lives in New Jersey. Pretty sure it's not icy there in May.
treehugger45 7
should have watched the news:)
MarkSolo3 14
Yeah, this is definately from an old Foxtrot comic. It's almost the exact same story. What a plagiarist.
npandeya 0
Must be a Jersey thing.....
narutou546 4
Ain't that a bitch
OctoberRainfall 13
NO SHIT, SHERLOCK
kiss_1214 17
HA! Irony, ya gota love it :)
CammyGal 26
Icy? In May??
jc95sd 3
Dude you're not in a G rated movie, put some damn pants on when you go outside. Do you also hate you're paperboy for breaking your windows, potted plants, ect.