Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked to the end of my driveway to pick up the newspaper. I read the front page that was talking about people who have been getting hurt from slipping on ice. Laughing about that thought and walking up my driveway, I slipped. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, I lost control of my car on a patch of ice and slid off the road, messing up my car. I was working on a news story about bad road conditions. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pinkygirl_fml 0
this sounds exactly like an old fox trot cartoon... exactly like it.
waywardson 0
There is no way that would be the headline on the front page of a newspaper. That's for news, not newsflashes for morons. Plus, yeah, I've read this foxtrot strip. What's the point of posting FMLs if they're not true?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
skierguy 0
A. Yes, this is probably fake and plagiarized from a foxtrot strip. But: B. It is far from impossible. Where I live (Calgary) and many other places on the Canadian prairies it is not unusual to have major snowfalls well into May. I remember in 2007 we got a good 20 cm on May 24 and the roads were like ice-rinks. Later that day it warmed up to 15 C and all melted.
jpabely 0
right "boot" what's the weather up there now 'A
LouieG2OO7 0
Agreed. Irony says it all.
Seegtease 0
"Caution: Icy Conditions"? Really? That's the headline? Please. Paper headlines are always a little catchier than that. That's a warning, not a headline.
pete275 0
who reads the newspaper? (especially with relevant news such as "be careful with the ice") don't you have an internet connection?
doch_fml 4
#71 - New Zealand for one place.
meridon 0
lol not exactly an FML-- just a serious case of Irony... pretty funny too. :D
ams7509 0
not an FML, lol, YDI, ANYTHING!!! just a big steamy pile of BS bro... it's may, there's no ice on the ground. fail.
Celebratelife 0
Where do you live that there is ice in may?
sirdroosef 1
You're all dumb. This isn't irony. "The words ironic, irony, and ironically are sometimes used of events and circumstances that might better be described as simply "coincidental" or "improbable," in that they suggest no particular lessons about human vanity or folly. Thus 78 percent of the Usage Panel rejects the use of ironically..." in instances like that. Learn the language before you try and use it.