Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during a class, I noticed some racist statements and symbols on a table. While erasing them, I bent down to pick up my dropped pencil. I look back up to see a teacher, and got a suspension. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML
Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML
Today, I watched a movie my old teacher recommended me. She was one of my favourite teachers. I saw the title, opened it, and found out that the premise is racist towards my ethnic group. She marked me harshly. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
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Top comments
Pwn17 25
I thought teachers were supposed to have some level of intelligence...
Mossears133 15
Then there's that awkward moment when 31 realizes this is in the UK.
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Comments (159)
Enslaved 38
"Who are you to wave your finger? Ya' must have been out your head. Eye hole deep in muddy waters. You practically raised the dead."
skitsmuffin 6
Well I think its clever. Go Tool
Capt_Obvious 11
Ah...our education dollars at work!
who10nanny 8
My junior year English teacher wouldn't let us say harlot. I think it's quite stupid to keep students from learning new words.
Sonfang 19
Especially when they are much more proper than some of the words children and young adults use these days.
contentedmama 8
My sophomore year, my AP English teacher was absolutely convinced the word "ambivalent" meant "you don't care". She was pissed when I brought out the dictionary and proved her wrong!
worldclassrager 41
For an English reacher things are a bit heavily enforced...
Samster2000 9
He doesn't sound qualified to teach English if he considers 'titillate' pornographic
middlenamefrank 8
Wow...that sounds like a class it would be good to get thrown out of. Or...out of which it would be good to be thrown, I guess.
GiraffeAquarium 7
You would probably end up a more well rounded individual if you were kicked out, never to return.
JessicaZado 11
I'm guessing your teacher isn't the smartest
BrotherPhil 35
You could always try describing your teacher as a lacklustre pedagogue...
mollyjynxjax 28
He'd probably get mad for OP saying he likes kids
BrotherPhil 35
That's kind of the idea - look the word up.
mollyjynxjax 28
I know that pedagogue means teacher, I was getting at the fact that the teacher sounds dumb enough to confuse it with pedophile.
UnluckyGenius 21
With that english teacher your education must be retarded. (The true definition of retard is to hold back or hamper progress.)
MissMess 12
I love you. I got in some serious shit for using that word recently and NOT ONE person actually knew the ******* definition until I shoved it in their faces. Being accused of discrimination is bloody awful when you truly aren't prejudiced!
UnluckyGenius 21
Your plight is one many literate people face. You have many allies sir.
Zebediabolical 45
You know words can mean more than one thing, right? From the Oxford English Dictionary. Definition of retard verb Pronunciation: /rɪˈtɑːd/ [with object] delay or hold back in terms of progress or development: his progress was retarded by his limp noun Pronunciation: /ˈriːtɑːd/ informal, offensive a person who has a mental disability (often used as a general term of abuse). So essentially you use a parachute to retard the velocity someone jumping from a plane. Unless he's a retard and doesn't have one on.
maosquare 18
I think when using a word, you've got to consider the plethora of connotations it comes along with.
UnluckyGenius 21
I am fully aware words can mean multiple things #103, there are just some older meanings people forget as the word is used for something else in our stagnant culture. Most of the time words lose meaning as they become used as insults.
Enslaved 38
I can't help but think the word "titillate" might have been said in a more seductive way, such as TIT. . .illate Just like me singing: "You make me CUM. . . pletely miserable". :P