Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PinkElephants713 6
You totally should've pushed him in!! …jk
zingline89 18
Atleast when you wake up after your 21st you'll have a burning sensation on your leg and not somewhere else...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
PinkElephants713 6
You totally should've pushed him in!! …jk
danishbagel 3
I still consider that a reasonable response.
bmwguy01 8
next time OP can be the drunk one and piss on that guys car!
abbyhoneywaffles 11
Pissing on the car of the person who lit you on fire seems like very minimal revenge to me.
ImFrackinBored 13
That happened to me refueling my zippo and my whole arm lit on fire :c Atleast it doesn't hurt if you put it out fast enough :D
MilkyFilmz 26
I agree. Op should scoop out his eyes,stab his face with a fork,then,nevermind,I've said too much. This is only part 1/5. If you would like to know more about these parts or need help getting revenge, I will be more than happy to help you. ;)
zingline89 18
Atleast when you wake up after your 21st you'll have a burning sensation on your leg and not somewhere else...
zingline89 18
*at least
_Bildo_ 2
Nice
IndiRae 9
21st birthday party+open pit full of angry flames= one big muthafuckin no no.
Llamassss 21
It is ALWAYS a good idea to splash lighter fluid on a fire.
Fruit_Dealer 9
I hope your bladder was full of butane the day you took that picture.
Fruit_Dealer 9
That's great! Now you have an already powered-up leg to kick his nuts to beijing! FALCON-KICK! ! Passion fruits are tasty.
Badab1ng 5
No one cares about your passion fruits man. Snozzberries are all the rage these days.
GreenAppleDP 0
I eat pears on Sundays. Js
natashax21 5
32- Why not green apples?..,..
Fruit_Dealer 9
54- 32's comment was refererring to a comment I left on the previous FML, which was removed for some reason.
Badab1ng 5
You don't have the willpower of the monks who burn themselves, that is very clear.
jackassiddy 8
Not so much a lack of willpower.. More so a lack of want for a painful death..
TheWindowLicker 13
If we're talking about the monks I think we are, they didn't want a painful death, it was a way of protesting. Albeit a very strange protest...
The_Troller 14
Protesting against what? Rational though? Sanity? Common sense?
Savra_fml 17
This calls for the Friendship Prayer: "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch....Amen". Happy Birthday OP, and FYL.
StopDropNRoll 11
What if the said 1000 camels are flee free?
You_Need_Soap 6
"and it burns, burns, buuuurns, the ring of fire..."
you_freak 7
There's always that one drunken idiot...
Babyseal420 7
This is in no way related to the FML, but why does it always add +2 every time I thumbs up something?
juwood 7
Hey it's my birthday too! :) HBD
Fruit_Dealer 9
Today, I didn't know what to do for my birthday so I just wrote a comment on FML wishing myself a happy birthday. FML
maryam8869 7
HBD ..