Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

Nothing to do with us

Today, after I lost $5000 in crypto yesterday, I'm now down about $150k total since the start of the year. I just deployed more and bought $FML to make up for the losses. Hopefully it’ll happen. FML

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

Today, a vendor contacted me to let me know that our contract renewal went through. Turns out, I misread our original contract and now I've obligated our company to buy $24k of services, when my boss wanted to cancel it. It's only February and I already know I'm not getting a bonus this year. FML

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

Today, I submitted an offer on a house. I got a call a few minutes later saying that it had collapsed. FML

A tax on irresponsability

Today, I turned $50 into 25k, all off sports gambling, but then lost most of it before I could even take the money out. I'm now sitting on about $1500 to my name. FML

One hell of a poker game?

Today, I lost 1200 dollars, my fiancée, my dog, my apartment, and my car. FML

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

Burn the stock market down

Today, after I sold the bulk of my employer-granted stocks last week, assuming its the highest price the stock would reach in a while, it's now nearly 30% higher to the price I sold at. FML