Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML
Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML
Today, I was on autopilot, walking out of the bathroom, and separated my pinky toe from the rest of my toes over the door frame. I dropped to the ground in pain, and my toe and half my foot still hurts hours later. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
Clearly, anyone with a shard of foresight would've been sharp enough to sweep the mess up, or at least to have put on footwear.
cutycat136 28
Next time, might I suggest sweeping the floor if you lose something sharp like that so that doesn't happen again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
Bloink 25
If it took you an hour to get a big piece of glass out of your toe, wouldn't it be bloody? And I would assume that it's hard to miss a bloody piece of glass
DoDaJulio 13
YDI, put some damn shoes on!
tosdyke 16
That's the price one pays for being a ******* moron...
A1NoSauce 17
Definitely should've put some footwear on after losing it. YDI
beastaphine 5
I guess it just really wanted to be inside of you ?
liliyalee89 4
why not just wear shoes till you find it?
merryhappy1887 20
You're stupid. At the very least, put on shoes. Or if you wanna be real ambitious you could sweep the damn floor.
HWICUNow 10
That's either karma, kismet, or destiny.
esamolwan 18
I'm sorry but this is hilarious
lucasstidd 4
Was there no blood on this piece of glass?