Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Today, as I watched my boyfriend bake cookies, I said he was "domesticated." He looked at me like I'd just pissed on his mother's grave and has been cold and distant all evening. What the fuck? It's a compliment, you dick. FML
Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML
Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend complaining that I’m lazy since I never cook for him. I stopped cooking for him because he constantly complained that the food was never as good as what his ex-wife made, or like his mom made. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Your response should have been, "Well you suck at sex, but that doesn't stop you."
Chanchilla 0
atleast he's honest tho.
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Comments (66)
enoughgrace 4
^ great point.
skyeyez9 25
I'm not adept at baking cookies. But I make the BEST Lasagna and chili ever!
Kelsoness 1
Um.Since when do you cook cookies?OP,break up with his idiot.Actually,on second thought,you're an idiot too.Because you got offended by someone who says you cook cookies.And that you suck at cooking/baking.Be single until you figure out how to cook or bake.There's no sense in letting your partner suffer,regardless of gender.
goodgood_fml 5
Wow, honest men DO exist. He's a keeper IMHO.
Gem2424 0
Buy him some instead from a local bakery or something, Better yet get him an Xbox game.....a gift he'll really enjoy! :)
smokedbear 0
Maybe you should get better at cooking then? Lol
bigdawg11 0
Lol wow just work on ur cooking skills and after a while no one can say anything. Ull get there dont worry
you_freak 7
How is your life ****** by this?
CoconutBizkit 3
He was prolly kidding to look cute. Ya know, guys these days...
sallen0046 4
So it's perfectly fine that you did something thoughtless by forgetting to make something you were going to send, but the situation is completely life-******* when your boyfriend says something in a thoughtless but honest way? You need to get over yourself.