Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML
Today, I bought tickets to Walt Disney World for myself and my 6 year-old. She just announced she's afraid to ride an escalator, to the point of tears. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML
Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, my boyfriend's family offered me the trip of a lifetime visiting their families overseas. My mother threw a tantrum, telling me that it was my fault that she was never able to travel, it was my fault that she got pregnant with me and had to marry my abusive father. FML
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Top comments
bdubbstheman 5
She must be quite the scholar
verkaderk 9
Take me instead?
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Comments (196)
DancingQueen420 4
Wait new spiderman movie? What new spiderman movie?????
mastethinmints 0
Spiderman? When The Dark Knight Rises is coming out? Psh..
FatTony2010 4
Hopefully the altitude sickness with shut her the **** up! Have a good time :)
Cablo_Gubla 2
She's too far gone into the bullshit media culture to be able to appreciate reality and all the beautiful things therein. Leave her there, but without access to the house, that'll straighten her shit out. Also, make her read an atlas, or perhaps examine a globe.
ajeppsen 25
Leave her home then
monkeyhead641 6
If she is excited for The new spider man which is really just a remake toucan take me instead.
wannbaussiegurl 4
what kid wants to go to the Himalayas seriously? no kid!
riptor911 10
*facepalm*
Pancakemines 0
**** her then. Take me!!!
vbcapac07 0
I agree with your daughter. I wouldn't want to go if I had to miss the new spiderman movie.