Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML
Today, I excitedly told my parents I was going to India for an exotic vacation in two months. My dad responded with a "DO NOT REDEEM THE VACATION!" reaction in a racist voice while laughing. My mom snorted and fake-chastised him while also laughing. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML
Today, I bought tickets to Walt Disney World for myself and my 6 year-old. She just announced she's afraid to ride an escalator, to the point of tears. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with a spa day during our mini vacation with the kids. I booked her a facial and mani/pedi at the resort, figuring I would take the kids while she relaxed. Her reaction? "I hate the spa. Why would you waste that money? I'm not going." FML
Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, my boyfriend's family offered me the trip of a lifetime visiting their families overseas. My mother threw a tantrum, telling me that it was my fault that she was never able to travel, it was my fault that she got pregnant with me and had to marry my abusive father. FML
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Top comments
bdubbstheman 5
She must be quite the scholar
verkaderk 9
Take me instead?
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Comments (196)
callixto_fml 3
Dude its spiderman. Granted not as cool as batman but still its spiderman
dyllpickle14 0
The only problem with this fake story is that there is no spiderman movie coming out.
Airborne2002 7
It is technically a desert. A desert is barren land with little to no life, whether hot or cold
wrinklycow 0
It's funny because it's not rally a desert.
wrinklycow 0
It's funny because it's not really a desert.
goodgurlgonebad 0
wait...... hold up...... the new spider man movie is coming out in months?!?
cindykitty 0
Your child is spoiled and rotten and needs to be sent to a third world country
corydakota 4
I'm this way about batman ????
Soluxis 17
She sounds a bit spoiled to me. The Himalayas are the experience of a lifetime. I trekked to Everest base camp (from the Nepal side) last year as part of an international expedition and had the time of my life. As to the whole 'desert' thing, I went just after the rainy season and the whole region was blooming with life. Also, Kathmandu is awesome. Go there. Although your daughter may turn her nose up because it's smelly, dusty and noisy. Either that or...uh.. take me instead?
laurenmacias 0
WHAT!? NOT SPIDERMAN!