Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
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Top comments
loserloser 0
you should have gotten a crowbar instead, apparently.
drummer_dude 0
Now if that isn't irony I don't know what is. FYL though.
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Comments (86)
NorfolkDude 2
This is why guns give people a false sense of security. On top of that, most fatalities involving guns from personal, lawful, ownerships by citizens involve family members and close friends. So if you buy a gun for "protection" you're just really setting up for your entire family to be killed.
Nizzit2 0
Thank you, was going to post something like this :-)
hughman 0
And this is why you educate your family about gun safety. Rule number one. Never point the barrel at a person. That can save lots of lives alone. Of course, if you are afraid of guns, don't buy one. Its absolutely your right. But why should anyone tell me I'm too irresponsible to have one. Here's another statistic for you. Most severe car accidents in which a passenger is injured involves a family member or close friend. Most people will be involved in at least one accident in their lives. If you drive a car, you are just setting up for your entire family to be killed. Your post is irresponsible and ill informed.
Sipos 0
Guns are a target for criminals. They don't make you safer.
hughman 0
no, guns put a target on criminals. semantics really, but it makes a big difference.
hughman 0
fmylife is acting weird, sorry for the repost.
Erranty 0
You shouldn't be walking around near Gordon Freeman.
AtrumMessor 1
Seriously, carrying a piece without constant vigilance is worse than being unarmed. Now if dude goes and kills someone with your gun it'll come back to you. I feel for ya, but ultimately, YDI for now inadvertantly putting one more untraceable gun to the underworld.
jemma_aussie 0
sounds fake
AtrumMessor 1
Hey, to all the idiot Limeys and Aussies up there, food for thought: in the states in the Union where gun bans are least restrictive, there is a very definite and traceable correlation between higher gun ownership rates and lower incidence of violent crime. And this isn't coming from the NRA or any such organization, but the FBI. Oh, and the UK has a much higher breaking-and-entering rate than the US. But hey, if you think it's better to let the sleazebags run rampant while the citizens run defenseless, it's your messed-up country...
hughman 0
not posted where i intended...