Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML
Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Today, I witnessed a robbery as a teenager ran out of a Walgreens with stolen goods in his hands. The manager was running after him. Trying to be helpful, I pulled forward to block the thief from getting away. The cops showed up and arrested me for hitting a pedestrian. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
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Top comments
loserloser 0
you should have gotten a crowbar instead, apparently.
drummer_dude 0
Now if that isn't irony I don't know what is. FYL though.
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Comments (86)
Incubuss 0
I can't believe you can just walk into a shop and buy a gun whenever you want. No wonder America has so many bad gun crimes.
time4coffee 3
Maybe in Florida but not in New Jersey, most places make you apply for a license first with a waiting period
Incubuss 0
Still, the UK is way stricter. I've never known of anyone in my family, friends, family's friends.. who have ever even held a gun.
patrickhb 0
Other than for hunting purposes, it's practically impossible to buy a firearm here in the UK. My grandparents and uncle live in the country and occasionally hunt rabbits for food, and pest control - they're the only people I've ever known or heard of who own firearms.
Sooz54 0
And that, my friend, is the reason that in 1776, the United States not only declared their independence but won it. No offense to the UK of course, but its in our 2nd amendment: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed"
patrickhb 0
And is the 2nd Amendment relevant today? Are there hordes of cut-throat Limeys pouring down the streets of Detroit? Are Al Qaeda staging landings on Nantucket Island? Yes, the 2nd Amendment is a relic of a time when the US faced a genuine threat of invasion, without a regular Army to defend itself. But a relic, nothing more. Today's America is vastly different. P.S. Independence wasn't won, it was granted. ;)
frozen_tundra 0
you think that people who commit gun crimes (that aren't domestic violence) buy their guns legally?
Starfire22 5
We like our guns here in America! Hell in NJ even a granny can have one. Yeah you gotta be careful which little old lady you try to rob... You might get a gun in your face...
hughman 0
haha, is that what they tell you over there? You "granted" us independence? You never sent your military here? hahaha. Well, thanks, I guess.
vac2007 0
Dude....you just got mugged by Gordon Freeman
Sybe 0
You ******, I was about to say that to him.
vac2007 0
HA HA! THE FREEMAN!
Shadic 0
DAMN YOU! That's what I was gonna say.
littlegolferboy 4
I bet the OP is with Civil Protection.
vac2007 0
He made him pick up the can
GirlFromAus 0
America is SO WEIRD. you can just step into a shop and grab a gun wherever you wnt? pretty stupid.
dreadkid08 0
No you have to fill out paperwork and they do a background check
dreadkid08 0
and you have to apply for a license thought I should add that
noodle78 0
True, the only ones who get guns very easily are the ones buying them illegally or if you are buying from a private person. Every state requires a background check which is done through a law enforcement agency. The shop I have purchased from calls the FBI for a background check. However, in my state if you have a CWP - Concealed Weapons Permit - it negates the need for a background check, but the validity of your permit is still checked.
SamSJester 0
Sounds like an enterprising gun store owner to me.
nate01 0
Hope you filed a police report to help recover the weapon from the criminal... Also, I hope you watch your back when you're packing heat!
ddd44 0
A gun is simply a tool. It doesn't make up for your lack of awareness of your surroundings.
poisonfrog7 2
hehehe a tool. just like the OP
Compass 0
Learn to read. I'm pretty sure he stopped by the store to pick up the gun he had purchased after waiting for the background checks and other things you have to go through in order to purchase a firearm.
MITSOL 0
Ah, the 1 in 1 million. Or fake. Admittedly ironic though, if true. BTW, this never actually happens statistically. Most guns are stolen from the home when people are not around...and not loaded. Also guess what, almost all gun crime is committed with illegally obtained weapons. Criminals can't just walk in and buy these things you know...srsly, people have their heads on backwards when it comes to guns. Pragmatic truth hippie BS that does not play out in the real world. It is simple economics for smart criminals. People with guns are a liability. When you don't know who does and does not have one, your jobs just got a lot more difficult and dangerous...because people who carry are likely to plug you if you try anything...and guess what? In states and areas with shall issue or unregulated legal open or concealed carry laws, CRIME IS LOWER. This is undeniably fact.
gsfgf 0
I would like to elaborate on your point. In Atlanta (and all of GA), we have a stupid restriction that CCP holders cannot carry on college campuses. I live near Georgia Tech and go to Georgia State and those campuses are about the most dangerous parts of the city (besides maybe ghettos, but I'm not so certain). These days there's at least one mugging a week between the two schools because thugs know the kid carrying a backpack, who probably has a laptop, ipod, etc., is unarmed. All it would take, if we had reasonable carry laws, it would just take a couple thugs getting shot to make campus safe again. Oh, and to the gun grabbers, as many of these thugs use knives as guns. None of the guns are lawfully purchased. Some just pair up and rob a lone student with just punches.
Bloodrush 0
fake.
iloveloosy12 0
douche concealed weapon pheh. the world isn't that bad, you just don't look very innocent coming out of a gun shop duuur :B