Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with eight guys. Just now, after taking three trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML
Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML
Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I'm into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML
Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML
Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Linkerdoodles 15
Do it in the shower! There's something wrong if your roommate comes in while you're in there...
all4pooh 4
I do. I do know what you mean..
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Comments (229)
RachaelQ 0
How about idk, you try and enjoy a new country?
Karwash2011 2
I don't see what being in Belgium has to do with this haha pretty much every college freshman has to deal with this problem... It's not fun.
wmkaz 4
You get the chance to participate in something that neat and all you can think about is fapping? I'm sure Mr. Winky can survive without five or six wank sessions a day. Do something productive.
bizarre_ftw 22
No. No I don't. Why don't you explain it to me- now why would you want to strangle a rooster?
NoReservations 9
Girlfriend. Find one.
blueflame 2
Belgium is the best country to do an exchange in!!!! :D there will be times when he's not in the dorm so just do your business then. Plus Belgians do that too, so he won't care. But get with some Belgian girls - better yet, find other exchange students. My personal experience can tell you that if exchangers in Belgium aren't slutty when they get there, they're slutty by the time they leave. Have fun and enjoy your stay! :)
stargazur 9
Omg you're in Belgium!!! Lucky! I'm more Belgian than American though I live in America, I miss it there
SleepySloth 4
yes you made it absolutely clear that you plan to strangle live chickens in you bedroom with out your roommates knowledge ;)
insomniac8400 13
no, could you please clarify what you're doing to the ****
ZombieKitteh 8
Lol I don't know what country you're from originally but in The States, 'choke the ****' is pretty straightforward lol you don't need the 'if you know what I mean' XD