Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
Today, I was at a store trying to buy a birthday gift for my niece when I knocked over a stack of porcelain dolls. As they crashed to the floor, a security guard rushed over, but before I could apologize, I heard a tiny voice behind me: “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” It was just another prank by my mortified son, but it was too late to stop people glaring at me. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
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Top comments
BoltTheSuperdog 22
And you're first reaction was to resort to physical violence (instead of at least a verbal request/warning for them to stop) without even confirming that it was your kid, let alone the same gender? In my opinion, YDI.
toowie_fml 20
Does that really deserve a smack in the first place?
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Comments (69)
RabbitOfAurora 28
I feel like it was probably more like a firm/playful tap to the head, like the same way I smack my cat for nosing around in my food while I eat. The kid was probably a bit shocked and maybe not used to it so he overreacted and threw a tantrum.
kaseyyeahh 7
so? op didnt even look at or talk to the kid before hitting it. thats bad ******* parenting.
Adam5858 17
Bad and easy to avoid mistake.YDI
kaseyyeahh 7
how is it an easy mistake to make? its ******* not. had op even LOOKED at the kid theyd know it wasnt theirs, let alone actually talked to it and told it to stop.
glabberfasted 16
Re-read that, 57. They said easy to AVOID.
acerredrum 23
And you didn't even look at this comment.
HeartYou101 31
I got a clip on the back of the head (even smacked on the back of the legs/ass with a wooden spoon and paddle hairbrush - It's an Irish thing), when I was being bold/rude/naughty and I turned out to be a decent person of sociaty...I don't blame my mother, dad or granny for doing it because I probably would have turned out to be a little ******, like a lot of people my age. I was never properly beat, but I think a few slaps suffice to get the message across to kids...I don't think what the OP did was wrong...Apart from clipping someone else's child across the head obviously!!
kaseyyeahh 7
I was never hit and i turned out to be a decent human being. given that youre encouraging hitting kids over something so stupid, you definitely ******* didnt.
mylyfesuksDB 9
Lol, of u were going to hit your daughter u may as well hit some random kid aswell
zandalee 20
I have bought up three beautiful children and have never ever struck them. One of the reasons for this is because I am still screwed up from my parents hitting me as a child. Please learn from this OP. It's never too late to change.
crushcrusher 33
even if that was your kid you shouldn't have smack her esp on the forehead.
Daveyboy75 11
Do you always smack your kid on the head when they do something naughty ?
ShiggyD 9
I don't get why everyone is flipping shit. My dad always gave me that sorta slap and it isn't painful or bad, it's a 'stop being annoying' tap on the head. Besides if you had a habit of hitting your children, would you really be open / stupid enough to make an FML about it?
kaseyyeahh 7
yes because people who regularly hit their children consider it normal & dont think theyre doing anything wrong. a slap on the bum when theyre actually bad is one thing. a smack across the head without even telling the kid to stop, or even LOOKING at it, for something so trivial, is ****** up.
kotake 7
Agreed with first commentator... you reflexively hit your kid without even verifying they're yours? What? Let alone corporal punishment should only be used in serious situations like theft and practiced privately so there isn't an aspect of shame or humiliation. I'm actually okay with it in public if it's top or back of the head since i've been hit there and hit there on my friends. The key isn't to do it forcefully or even try to hit the area, you just graze it and it adds enough of an alert. Also you only do it once. I kinda expect this is the kind of thing you were trying to do so I'm fine with that but OP, make sure you at least know WHO you're hitting before you do it next time?
Curlytwirly22 17
You suck OP