Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I burnt my finger making pancakes for my kid. After hopping around and running the blister under cold water, I went back to finish making the pancakes and burned the same finger right on top of the new blister. An hour later it burst and the flesh is a funny colour underneath. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
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Top comments
dspadres 0
We didn't copy your language. You guys brought it with you when you colonized this country. Plaster as we know it is a chemical compound meant to seal holes in walls and such so it can be painted over. I would hope you guys don't put shit like that on your cuts. It can't be good putting whatever the hell is in that stuff in your blood stream.
leyash 0
Because it's a top brand name for covering wounds. That's why.
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Comments (80)
sushi314 12
For those who don't know -- "plaster" is what they call a Band-Aid in the UK. I was mystified when I tried to buy band-aids at a drug store and the clerk had no idea what I was talking about. So yeah, she put a band-aid on it, not actual plaster.
rockindyl22 0
Thank you for clearing that up, you should go read all the comments and what-not under 15's comment. They just don't understand.
PassionateFruit 0
I seriously can't see why this is bad enough to be an FML. I mean yeah it sucks that you burned yourself and got cut but seriously not even close to an FML level.
andrewms 0
YDI for using fire when having combustable-anything near/on you. Darwin Award
blastvortex 4
Quit flaming yourself...
FerrariCake 2
You need to find a protective bubble to spend the rest of your day in.
Houndourpup 0
You just got burned! Lol, anyway FYL for buning a cut on your thumb
Lady_Lakura 0
I'm really sorry for you, but this is really funny. (The sort of funny that "it's so funny because it didn't happen to me")
emlika 0
no offense but thats and absolute FAIL lol
Cristaderzi 0
Inspector Cluseau your vanted in the matters concerning Mr. Evil Lol I LOVE Peter Sellers!
D1B 0
thats borderline noob behaviour.