Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
Spider got some ACTION before it died.
FBIWarning 0
At least you killed it :)
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Comments (179)
thesockbunny 5
that was the scariest FML ever.
leyla_fml 0
i love how you called the spider a 'he'.
megamandude455 10
12 what if she made a typo and put 'she' instead of 'he'?
olive47_fml 0
GAY TEST!
laurisshnazzy 0
I'm officially traumatized. Hahaha #12, I was thinking the same thing :P
artisticlicense 0
oh god that's gross! i feel ya. i once discovered a beetle clinging to the inside of my underwear but thankfully that was before i put them on.
marycjones 0
I hate when that happens. :(
Emry_fml 0
Have you found the eggs yet?
dabomblyktiktikk 0
omg i just screamed out loud. SHES GUNNA HAVR ******* SPIDER BABIES!!!!!
AK 2
EW. If you didn't see it when you were wearing it, fine, but how the hell did you not feel it when you were walking around!?
joce445 0
It was dead! He crushed it with something, and it happened to be his underwear.
bioagg12 0
eewww thats freakin nasty. i wonder whats growing in there now. . .
nlite 0
how'd you not notice it when you put your underwear on? :S but that's beside the point, fyl.
Emry_fml 0
#17 This was written by a man.
6tori6 5
no? It was by a girl smart one.