Today, I was FaceTiming a good friend of mine from back home, telling her how good she looked and how happy I was to hear from her. My insanely jealous girlfriend snatched my phone and smashed it on the ground. I was saying my friend looked good because she'd just finished chemo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friend's house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said, "Who is this? Stop texting me." FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I somehow managed to FaceTime my crush instead of texting him. I panicked, dropped my phone, then answered the call with an unflattering close-up of my forehead. FML
Today, I was in bed with my girlfriend and she asked to see my phone to check my Snapchat to see what was in there. After she was done with it, she start looking into her phone to see her memories and started crying over her ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to help one of my best friends while he was having a seizure. Earlier this morning my longtime girlfriend broke up with me. Oh, and also earlier this week I found out my other best friend has cancer. Lord take me now. FML
Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone and saw texts between him and his female friend. I confronted him about it and smashed his phone to pieces. He seems genuinely more upset that he can’t talk to her anymore rather than me being mad at him or his expensive smartphone being broken. FML
Today, I left my phone on the roof of my car after pumping gas. I drove off, and it wasn't until I heard a thud that I realized what had happened. Now my phone has a gash in the screen, and it's receiving angry texts from my girlfriend that I can't answer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Boyufd 25
dude that's a sign you should break up with her
redvibes23 14
Toxic
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (29)
redvibes23 14
Toxic
Boyufd 25
dude that's a sign you should break up with her
RichardPencil 32
If you want to hit on your female friends, just do it when your girlfriend is not around. Sorry it took a phone to learn that lesson.
s_ve 7
You can be friends with some one and compliment them and be the opposite sex. He stated she just went through chemo and was saying she looked good. He wasn’t hitting on her clearly.
RichardPencil 32
That may be the way you and me and objective observers would see it, but it could be different for a woman in love.
Sarah Fuller 7
You sir, are part of the problem!
RichardPencil 32
Yay! I'm finally part of a group!
newwitch2010 11
You need your head examined...
RichardPencil 32
I'd like to, but I don't want to spend the money. I'd rather come here for free! If it's any comfort, I'm almost never speaking sincerely -- I just like having this jerk persona online.
Gina Marie Lombardi 15
Not a normal woman. My man talks to his ex wife about problems with his step children (at least until a few months ago when he told her to stop bugging him about it) I never got upset or jealous
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15
you guys must be new.... meet the FML troller. no one knows how he truly feels, because he just loves to make people cringe. many people like him for that, including me. move along because he likely isn't bothered that you're offended. in fact, I'm almost entirely certain that he thrives on your offence.
namine120409 42
She owes you a new phone and she owes both you AND your friend an apology.
RichardPencil 32
She owes him a new good female friend. This time she should pick a real uggo, so she won't feel so insecure.
Katy Ann Martin 7
👏Dump👏 Her👏
jbuckets_404 39
Time to get a new GF along with your new phone (AND phone #). You can't reason with cra-cra....
some_dumb_kid46 7
thats a toxic relationship brewing you should break up with her
lifeis4me 20
That’s a glaring red flag. First it’s the phone and if you don’t leave the relationship, you’ll be next
spinspinsugar 12
tell her girl bye. if that's not an exploding red flag, idk what is
Morgan Kwn 19
I’m sorry to say that but you need to break up with her. She’s already making your life impossible, don’t let her make it hell.... Also, I hope you friend does get better !