Today, I received a marriage proposal at work from a 70 year-old man, covered in dirt from head to toe, who offered to be my "sugar daddy." I guess I have options after all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML
Today, my 70 year-old coworker gave me a letter telling me he was attracted to me, and wishes to have a relationship in which he can 'hold me in his arms every night'. I'm 21. FML
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course, he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy, I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way too old for him. I'm three years younger than my fiancé. FML
Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
I know you might thinking it's the way to go now, but suicide is never the right option.
honeybee366 0
lol. that's creepy...but very funny. did he at least have a ring?
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Comments (71)
mintcar 10
Sugar, ah honey honey You are my candy girl And you've got me wanting you.
funzcpl 0
oh it would be a lovely wedding. you can wear a beautiful gown designed by Vera Wang and he can wear his WW1 dress blues, nice military style wedding. he will give you a 2 carat diamond ring,you give him a medical alert bracelet and you can have bread pudding for him,so he can chew,and you can skip the dinner and go straight to the open bar!
sinnedrebel 0
and he can bring viagria
maphineRAWRS 10
can he even afford the sugar? okay, that was terrible :P
lana1316 0
thats gross i wouldve slapped him!
TiffanyBlews27 0
Maybe he has great life insurance... Chances are, he won't be around much longer... (that was bad) :/ but either way, there ya go: say sure, somehow he dies (without it looking like murder - or maybe it just isn't murder), you take the life insurance, and you're free to marry someone you love. But on a more serious note, that's slightly creepy... o_O
jocelyng_fml 0
it's brown sugar silly
SanaSazi 32
2 Cups White Sugar 2 Cups Brown Sugar 1 Cup Evaporated Milk 1 Cup Butter (or margarine) 2 Heaping Tablespoons of Flour 1 Tsp of Vanilla (I always use more!) DIRECTIONS: (1) mix sugars and evp. Milk together in a large, deep and microwave safe bowl; (2) microwave on HIGH for 4 minutes; (3) mix in butter and flour carefully; (4) microwave on HIGH for 9 minutes; (5) mix in vanilla carefully; (6) beat fudge with an electric mixer for 4 minutes; (7) spread fudge in a GREASED pan and set aside in a cool place for the fudge to cool down and harden.
mpclaw 3
hey. what's he worth? get a prenup. get guaranteed lifetime support. then start feeding him food high in calories and saturated fat. buy him cigarettes and lots of cheap vodka. make sure he gets no exercise. oops. I think I just described your lifestyle.
gigilvrs6 0
That man is a GENIUS!
Syriangrl 0
ahhaha!that is too funny!
SadinSherman 16
Do you work at a nursing home?