Today, I realized I've been hit in the balls more in the past two years than the rest of my life. Why? My dog is always happy to see me and his tail is just the right height. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog celebrated my coming home by slapping me in the junk repeatedly with his tail. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML
Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML
Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML
Today, as I watched my male and female dogs frolic, play, and lick each other, it occurred to me there's more love and romance between them than I have ever had in my whole damned life. FML
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Top comments
aRandomAccount 5
Either you are short, or you have a big dog. What kind of dog do you have, OP?
InfiniteSunshine 32
My uncle's dog caused the same sort of problems. He was like a Pitbull mix, so he had a long thin tail. When he was happy and wagged it, which was the majority of the time, it was like a whip and it would hurt even if it hit just your leg. There were a few times he hit the more intimate areas too as he was just the right height. Eventually, everyone learned to stand away from the back of him when he was wagging it lol.
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Comments (13)
DisgruntledQuiet 9
You're good to your dog, he's happy to see you. Well earned tail to the balls. You deserve it.
AshBashMash0423 6
Maybe it's time to invest in a cup ?
Kicks23142 5
Sam with my dog I haven't gone a wee without getting hit in balls by him for almost 3 years