Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML
Today, I took a good look, and I mean a really good look around the house and I realized that if I simply threw away all my wife’s useless crap she bought and hasn’t used in years, or even unwrapped from the plastic, we could probably move into a smaller, cheaper house. FML
Today, I got round to organizing my apartment, sorting everything into boxes and shelves. However, due to my arbitrary sorting method, I now can't find everyday things because they're not in their usual place (in a clutter on my desk), including the charger cable I used five minutes ago. My place looks organized. My life does not. FML
Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML
Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML
Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML
Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML
Today, I finally moved into my own flat - no family, nor messy flatmates. Should be great, except for the fact that I'm so short, I have to climb onto the counter in the kitchen any time I want to reach my shelves. Like a child. I'm going to break my fucking neck. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
You're paying for the luxury of not having to switch power outlets. You know how bothersome that is? And how costly it is to provide?
NewYorkMexPR 14
At least you have a place to live in
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Comments (119)
karlcolt45 19
trade you places, word of warning...mine just flooded so water damage is the name of the game. BUT IT'S BIG!
shorty6823 28
My pond is so flooded it combined with the neighbors pond. My pigs have a new swimming pool and the ducks are jealous.
Enslaved 38
IKEA! Ideal for places like yours!
kinkycouple 10
Well than God he blessed ypu with a roof over ur head
ironichalibut 24
And then god said unto citylife, "Be thankful, and praise my name", and he was, and he did, and God said, "Go forth and vaccuum," And he did, and through the power of his faith..... God made the vaccuum cord shorter, so citylife would no longer feel his apartment was so small. He works in mysterious ways, Hallelujah!
challan 19
Shame he didn't bless you with the ability to spell. Also, I find it quite strange that you are talking about God with the user name kinky couple...
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Wanderlust?
kurodansei 16
? elaborate please.
CareFace 16
Google. It's a movie with Jennifer Anniston (however it's spelt) and Paul Rudd.
Ray_of_midnight 23
I hope you're at least living somewhere in Manhattan below 14th St.
NoDontKillMe 19
Do you stalk OP? How do you know where they live?
crzycookie 7
Did you miss the "hope that you're at least" part of what they said?
Michael_92 20
Has to be one of the only advantages to living in Michigan. Drop 1k a month on a house and you are set with 6 bedrooms, garage, and sometimes lakefront access.
perdix 31
Move back in with your parents, and let Mom vacuum your room. Irritation eliminated!
NoDontKillMe 19
So are girlfriends...
Tempest559 12
Just unwind the cord a little bit to give yourself the illusion of a large cumbersome dwelling. Damn, Dr Phil should be taking notes from me.
fordneagles 34
Oh poor you, having to pay money for your own place that is small enough that it takes you all of 30 seconds to vacuum. How tragic!
israelnotjacob 20
Big deal. My apartment can be entirely vacuumed from one outlet as well, and it's a two bedroom that's actually relatively spacious. Unless you can shell out the big bucks and afford one that costs so much that you might as well just get a house, most apartments nowadays are compact enough that the average-length vacuum cord can reach the whole area.