Today, I pulled a muscle in my stomach while straining to overcome... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By fetid fart fug - 09/11/2017 21:24

Today, I pulled a muscle in my stomach while straining to overcome the constipation that has plagued me for over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 3

Back to school: Courses and confusion
When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

GhostFox 33

Sunday 12 November 2017 5:52

You really should have gone to a doctor, or hell, even an ER. You should NOT be constipated for that long- your intestines being that backed up is a sign of something being wrong. In the rare case something wasn't wrong when it began, it can really easily cause something to go wrong, and it isn't impossible for our organs to rupture from that in extreme cases.

Comments

GhostFox 33

Sunday 12 November 2017 5:52

You really should have gone to a doctor, or hell, even an ER. You should NOT be constipated for that long- your intestines being that backed up is a sign of something being wrong. In the rare case something wasn't wrong when it began, it can really easily cause something to go wrong, and it isn't impossible for our organs to rupture from that in extreme cases.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

I need your advice Love Instagram Ghosting Social Media Miscellaneous Swimming pool Gross Bodyshaming Anxiety School Education Mental health Embarrassing Awkward Parents Cleaning Family Weird Football Sports Cheating Ironic Relatable Allergies Kids Trust Suspicious Pregnancy Insects

The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 794

You deserved it 95 125

Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 999

You deserved it 3 355

Random

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 305

You deserved it 3 913

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 647

You deserved it 43 536

Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 285

Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 1 567

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 81

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 714