Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML
Today, my husband threw a fit because I dyed my hair bright magenta. Funny, I actually dyed it three days ago. He literally just noticed. Shows how much attention he pays me. FML
Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML
Today, my three year-old son accidentally spilled strawberry jelly on my husband’s work shirt. My husband threw a huge fit, and went on a huge rant about how he was going to be late for work. He also said, and I quote, “Why couldn’t you just get a fucking abortion?” in front of our son. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML
Today, after years of my husband offering to trim my bangs, I finally let him. On the first snip he managed to cut the skin beneath my eyebrow. Ten minutes before that, our newborn shat all over me, even getting it in my hair. To make me feel better, since we have a parrot, my husband said that I could finally fulfill my dreams of being a pirate. FML
Today, my husband has decided to grow a mullet. FML
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Top comments
leximichelle 13
Why is your husband getting midday drunk alone with a child in the first place?
Xavyeah 74
Well, a skunk on a acid seems like a fair description of Rufio...
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Good thing there's a pandemic! Your kid doesn't have to be seen by other kids looking like a damn fool. Silver linings!
leximichelle 13
Why is your husband getting midday drunk alone with a child in the first place?
Xavyeah 74
Well, a skunk on a acid seems like a fair description of Rufio...
Yummi_913 18
YOU allowed your husband to get drunk around a child and then bleach that childs hair. YOU.
star71075 12
Her husband, a grown man, is responsible for his own actions.
Yummi_913 18
Yeah. And a mother is responsible for who she leaves her children with. Typically day drinkers don't go on that list.