Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML
Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty, because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML
Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear, "If you go home with my son, make sure he wears a condom." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Theo_fml 0
I tend to believe that always keeping true to your word is the most important principle I hold. Thus, I would not have broken my promise with her, which was to watch her so that she doesn't sleep with other guys. Visibly, telling everyone she has STDs seems to be the best and most effective way of keeping that promise. I would've done exactly the same thing, you can be sure of it.
lostfaithinyou 0
Actually been there... a few weeks ago. Pretty much the exact same situation.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
ritchietoms 0
i wouldnt let her go out with any guy that night. because that guy will go and spread it off to some other girl, and then some other guy will get it, and before you know it, You've just been karma'd and you've got a case of the syphilus. Karma does wonders, good and bad.
khanrava 0
"I really don't think you should've outed her." Don't listen to this, aids doesn't need to spread anymore than it has lol. Outing her was perfect
kslay 0
you should have just told everyone why you wouldnt let it happen. the attention would have turned away from you pretty quickly
Jackthestripper 0
The truth will OUT!!
Shadefall 0
._. Now tell me exactly WHY this girl is your best friend?
kimjoypop 0
getting an STD doesn't mean your a ***** or a ****, but good job looking out for your friend and others plus who cares what dirty, pigs say.
xNephilim 19
Yeah, but if you have to make your friend make sure you don't go home with random dudes to spread the STD you most likely got by going home with random dudes, then it's pretty safe to assume you're a ****.
kimjoypop 0
eventhro she's drunk off her ass =D
kimjoypop 0
then wait intill she's sober to tell her what she did, and say that wasn't cool and next time your on your own. i'm your friend so don't be mean to me
AmbrosiaFan 19
No. Next time you tell her "I'm going to stop them again, and next time I'll tell them you've got an STD".
Curly_Wurly 0
You're friend is a ****.
deannababy 0
no, that sounds like a **** to me. If she got mad at you for not letting her bring home some random guy, then that obviously means she does that often, and therefore, she's a SLUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.