Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML
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Top comments
RayneSmytson 24
Don't all toasters say that?
narrowords 18
The company manufacturers did that on purpose. They're laughing at you.
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Comments (73)
JimmyHasNoHands 7
I prefer Model 3 over Caprica 6 and Boomer. Sexy Toasters
MymB612 14
Natural selection is out to get YOU
floon_fml 13
Yeah. This is clearly a great example of natural selection. Because I totally could have died from touching a toaster that was still a little hot. I'm sure you've never done anything that could be classified as stupid. I'm sure.
jddrinker 6
They put that caution there for idiots like you.
pandoralilybelle 13
You could have just blown the crumbs away..
pic516 9
Idiots like you are the reason why this world is going to hell!
ahh_rats 15
Hahaha did you honestly think it was a secret message
MyS3lf 24
Clean your toaster? And after reading this I feel the need to add, while you're not using it, and after it's cooled off...
faeryfyre 3
Just goes to show that you can put all the obvious warnings on things that you like, but idiocy will still overcome.
mrmaddman 9
Dumb ass....
FML_Elle 17
Really? Out of all submitted FMLs, this one was chosen?