Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my first day as an expat. Hoping to arrive early for work, I hailed a cab. The driver took it upon himself to take the scenic route and play tour guide, no matter how much I refused. Not only was I late, he turned violent when I refused to pay his $100 fare plus a "talent fee." FML
Today, I was finally leaving my hometown to live in my dream city. Everything was packed, keys were handed in, goodbyes were made. The moment my truck began pulling out to get underway, the guy I'd gotten a room from in my new city called to inform me that he'd decided to rent to someone else. FML
Today, I rode in the cab on the way back to my dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab, but he drove away before I could get my luggage out of the trunk. FML
Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML
Today, I’d been dying to escape my dreary hometown, but had panic attacks at the thought of being on my own, but at last, I'd found a place I could afford. Turns out, the guy I was going to rent from was just arrested for murdering his last tenant. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Congrats, people are crazy.
onlychildFTW 34
Well in Texas they do have fairly liberal gun laws. Nothing wrong with it though, I like Texas; if you're friendly so are they. Just don't be a criminal and you're good. But another note, who would steal someone's used shoes? That'd be pretty gross. I assume they weren't brand new of course.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
RobinGoodfellow 47
Congrats, people are crazy.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Op should be fine as long as they don't steal anyone's shoes.
ChristianH39 30
I'm probably wrong, but there is a possibility the cabbie could tell OP was from out of town and nervous and decided to mess with them. If that's the case it's funny as hell. But he's probably just crazy.
Ichiya 29
Should have offered the guy some help. Get really enthusiastic, even suggest some torture before you finally shoot them. Mention things like the pear of anguish, jumper cables to the nuts, and even cheese grater underpants.
prettygurl89 16
He's right
1dvs_bstd 41
you steal a man's life before you steal his shoes.
MehNameIsJuan 15
I agree, I mean if its my Jordans doe
onlychildFTW 34
Well in Texas they do have fairly liberal gun laws. Nothing wrong with it though, I like Texas; if you're friendly so are they. Just don't be a criminal and you're good. But another note, who would steal someone's used shoes? That'd be pretty gross. I assume they weren't brand new of course.
RobinGoodfellow 47
Don't forget Zero from "Holes."
AnOriginalName 19
Nope, Stanley Yelnats stole those shoes, even if they did fall from the sky into his hands. It's all the fault of his no good, dirty-rotten pig-stealing great-great-grandfather.
_parth 20
I love Texas.
RadikulRam 16
Rule one of living in Texas. Don't be a prick. That's all. Easy.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Meh. I don't believe in possibly taking a life over a piece of property.
ChristianH39 30
My car, maybe. Shoes, probably not.
swaftmasterj627 12
Go to an inner city school for a little and you'll quickly see that people do in fact steal shoes.
adamjcurryy 19
Gotta love Texas
dragoongirl90 34
But.... If people steal your shoes, they DO deserve it.
hailzz_96 18
Just don't steal the mans shoes and you'll be fine
MDoremis 38
I'd rather hear that than the insane yelling I've heard in subways in New York.
abNormal62 23
Well clearly the city needs a few more "good soles" You may be the hero they need
briang959 47
The stars at night are big and bright...
isisorchid 16
*clapclapclap*
briang959 47
Deep in the heart of Texas.
isisorchid 16
The prairie sky is high and wide.
briang959 47
•clapclapclap•
briang959 47
Deep in the heart of Texas!!
Skoff_fml 27
Before you judge the guy, put yourself in his shoes..
MDoremis 38
I see what you did there.
ninjahesten 18
Dont... he just said he would shoot you..
bearsbear01 7
what shoes?