Today, I made my first ever chocolate fudge, which turned out really nice. I had a bite and left it on the counter with plastic wrap covering, only to come back later to find my sister's cat pissing on it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML
Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year-old sister passed out on the couch. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, after coming home with a delicious chocolate cake that I bought for Easter for my family, I realized my mom's cat was chewing on the end of my cellphone charging cord that I left on the floor in a rush to head out the door. I'd only just bought the cord yesterday and the cat chewed on it so hard, the plug's bent. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML
Today, my dog wouldn't stop pestering me while I was eating some chocolate mousse. I tried to get him to leave me alone for a bit by pretending to throw the mousse far away. The pot stayed in my hand, but I covered the furniture in chocolate mousse. My dog enjoyed cleaning it up. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
I really dislike how cats walk on countertops, etc. esp. just after using the litter box (per litter granules on their paws).... Yuck!
RichardPencil 32
If the fudge was still edible, that would be a great endorsement for the plastic wrap! I’m not sure they’d want to run that ad during the dinner hour!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
electrodude 15
Well then give it to your sister to eat 😂
Lobby_Bee 18
It says something when your cooking smells like a litter box. Looks like your fudge needs some major improvements.
Neevster 18
Aww, fudge!
RichardPencil 32
But you didn’t say “fudge”, you said the f-dash-dash-dash word!
retailsuxa$$ 6
cats are assholes. sorry about your fudge. my dog ate my grandma's birthday cake once.
Huldan MeGroyn 13
Sounds like you should try your hand at making Chinese, too!
1gullible_bugger 34
cats have no respect for anything. And that would be why I do not have one.