Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML
Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML
Today, I got electrocuted at work. The boss thinks I'm faking, even though a chunk of my left hand is gone. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, I almost got our office burned down by plugging the wrong charger into a laptop cooling fan. Tried to hide the incident and kept it casual but the smoke detector led it to my area and everyone knew I was the culprit. I'm a new hire too. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML
Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML
Today, in the bathroom during the ACTs, my hair got stuck in the electric hand dryer. I had to rip my hair out. For future reference, hair + hand dryer = dreadlocks. FML
Today, after months of unemployment, I finally started at a new job. The building burnt down on my very first shift. FML
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Top comments
rosha267 21
They don't have to know about it
finalyearsofhate 22
you shocked yourself op. electrocution leaves the person dead.. not posting to fml.
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Comments (97)
cradle6 13
I bet they'll find your story "shocking." I'll go away now...
Torva_fml 16
Ok! Cya on the next fml.
kofeinisti 6
This comment needs an image of Horatio putting on his sunglasses... YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!
Pelreskovich 11
I'm sure the more high tech equipment you're going to be using has better safety features than a hair dryer.. They are actually quite dangerous.
perdix 31
It sucks that a ghost can get its FML published and I can't! Hey, Einstein, don't tell your employers that you shocked yourself with the hairdryer. The expensive equipment certainly has safety features built-in that aren't in your $8 Wal-mart hair dryer. They're supposedly foolproof, but I don't know how big a fool you are ;)
Avalanches 9
One day, mate.
perdix 31
I don't know about that. I don't want to share the truly crappy things in my life, yet they seem to detect when I put something fake in.
Googoo27 12
Perdix you are a god.
clcbjj31 0
Your ability to use sensitive equipment isn't a function of your ability to be sensitive equipment.
desireev 18
It was an accident OP. It happens to the best of us. You'll do fine at your new job. Don't let the perfect-people-who-never-have-an-accident-or-ever-do-something-silly get ya down! Just remember, accidents happen! Just do your job the best you can and you'll do great! :)
kingsley_fml 8
It sounds like you light up their lives.
EduJav321 24
Im sure they wont notice the burn marks and einstein hair
RedPillSucks 33
Hopefully, your CSI got GFI unlike your hair dryer.
Johnny6speed 0
Really? Everyone that's saying it's ok. She is supposed to be experienced in using sophisticated electrical equipment. Yet she fails at using a hair dryer. Really? Would you want to go to a surgeon who had removed someone's left arm when it was supposed to be the right. Would you just shrug it off and say "well, everybody has a bad day" I don't think so. My point is that someone who is supposed to be highly trained in the use of sophisticated electrical devices should be able to understand how to use a hair dryer without getting ******* electrocuted.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Accidents happen, just because you're qualified doesn't mean you're not going to make a mistake. I assume you can walk right? Well, if you trip and fall while you are walking, should you be confined to a bed because you tripped and fell? My point is just because you know how to do something, it doesn't mean you are immune to making a silly mistake.
Johnny6speed 0
^ The difference from your example and mine is that my example is actually relevant to the situation. Knowing how to walk and tripping is slightly different from being trained in the use of sophisicated electrical equipment and not knowing how to use a hair dryer without getting a serious shock. Oh and when I say slightly different, I mean A BIG ******* DIFFERENCE. I mean i wouldn't want this dumb broad trying to help police figure out who raped and murdered my mom. Would you? Also from what you're saying is you would have no problem using the surgeon in my previous comment. Really? Really?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I never said my example was as perfect as your example comparing OP shocking herself to a surgeon taking off a wrong arm... But my point was people do stupid stuff all the time, and just because you know how to do something or have a qualification to use certain equipment doesn't mean accidents won't happen. How do you know OP did graduate at the top of her class, or excel during training?
Dracoboxer357 36
Can I jump in here with another possibility? I'm not going to say she's brilliant and made a mistake, and I'm not going to suggest she's mentally handicapped. Third alternative: Perhaps she IS qualified to do her job, is distracted and nervous about her first day of work, simply doesn't notice a loose wire or a cut in the electrical cord, plugs it in and gets shocked. Not everyone that has something happen to them is because they're unbelievably stupid. Really, a hair dryer doesn't have that many buttons/options, I can see it being easy to take using one for granted. Do you always use your full, undivided attention to perform every task you encounter in your life, no matter how menial or simple it may be? :) Just a thought. Cheers! :)
devin12 0
Is a hair drier anything like sophisticated equipment?
MiddleThumb 0
I think you should understand that accidents happen, and the surgeon reference made no sense. I'm 100% the hair dryer doesn't connect to this person's work, while removing the wrong arm would (as a surgeon).
MiddleThumb 0
It sounds to me like you're just a cynical prick. Would you go on that jackass rant to someone's face? No, so don't be a dick about it.
GoW_Chick 15
You shocked not electrocuted yourself, I think it's time for a new hairdryer, maybe not one that gives you a electrifying surprise when you plug it in.
Schizomaniac 24
HOLY COMMA SPLICE!
GoW_Chick 15
Man my comment sounds stupid all because I missed a word, and it's bugging me so I'll fix it. -.- * You got shocked, not electrocuted