Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML
Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, a woman from my office called, asking who was in. Only one other woman was in the office. I couldn't remember her name, so I had to awkwardly guess random names while both women listened, obviously aware of what was going on. FML
Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML
Today, I found out that a guy who works overnights had secretly been videotaping me singing and dancing to my favorite songs while I worked my own graveyard shift. My new nickname at work is 'Prancy'. FML
Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML
Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML
Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML
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Top comments
Potterhead1 3
Alan Rickman's voice is cooler
Marcella1016 32
Take it as a compliment...that's a pretty sexy voice :)
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Comments (50)
skyeyez9 25
If you are a woman this would be even more hilarious.
florido_fml 10
Wow your life really sucks! How are you still able to live?
Pelreskovich 11
Sounds like an obsession!
flwurheart 0
As soon as OP said he sounded like Barry White, I then read the rest of the post in a Barry White voice!
reeses1981 10
So what?! So someone likes your voice...most people would just be flattered, I fail to see how this is an FML
perdix 31
I hope she's nice enough to leave you some creamed underpants from time to time. Women looooove Barry White's voice -- he didn't sell all those records with his body;)
YoMyselfandMoi 8
Cautious? Why?
_Princess_Peach_ 9
At least your balls have dropped and you dont sound like the 12 year old boys in game lobbies!
jbrister111 14
That sir, should be learned, not learnt
derptitude 4
learnt? good job...