Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to conquer my fear of eating out. The very first thing I saw as soon as I got to the restaurant? An unconscious guy getting taken away by paramedics. I turned around and went straight home. FML
Today, I was at a food truck festival and I spotted a taco truck and eagerly ordered a spicy taco. As I took my first bite, the spice hit me like a freight train and I began to choke. In an effort to save myself, I dropped the taco into the lap of the guy sitting next to me. He looked up, lap splattered in salsa, and asked if I was having a stroke. FML
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML
Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
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Top comments
buck33 14
That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.
ihatethesenamez 6
School food is hella nasty
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Comments (137)
buck33 14
That meal sounds disgusting. End of story.
I_Hug_Cats 26
I have to admit, this action was pretty brave for OP.
taco_bender 12
Tacos can be deadly if not made by the right mexican. Keep that in mind and sorry OP. Two days tops and you can dit confortably.
emmagillespie24 11
Hahahahahahahaha it sure does!!
Maddidaddi 0
Never eat cafeteria food, unless it's a burger.
head2133 12
It doesn't really sound that bad. I'll try anything atleast once. Anyone saying cafeteria food sucks, **** you. Food is food
BeatifulPenguin 4
My school has GOOD burgers and frito pie which is chilli with cheese on it and fritos to do in the chilli. It's better than it sounds!
diceplaya 12
I heard some of those Disney movies can be real brutal...
sonuskos 6
One word to avoid in school's cafeteria. Seafood
grant1023 5
Omg I love that too!
glenzhao2 16
Open the mouth, through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes :(
greeneyedpothead 10
I used to love the cafeteria pizzas. No wonder they were so good, they were already made and came prepackaged! They just had to heat them up!! Any food they actually make though, is disgusting! Those sloppy Joe's....ugh.
Gtaylorfication 0
Actually I disagree my schools burgers are raw in the middle and I broke my tooth on a bone inside of the meat
BradTheBrony 19
Down my gullet, from my trap. Like a faucet, out my ass.
Neorecon19 18
59- What about the mystery meat?
ihatethesenamez 6
School food is hella nasty
InstantRanbowMix 0
Saw isn't that scary though
The_Hitdude 12
But Disney is horrible...shit my pants every time I watch that stuff. Live toys and talking dogs...*shudders* Never. Again.
Gondile 4
24, Saw is hella scary.
skitzofunia88 8
You're pic is quite suited for this situation.
fsamslife92 8
Saw isn't that scary. They're all just gory, especially Saw III.
desireev 18
When I was in school, I looked forward to lunch everyday! The food in my schools cafeteria was some of the best food I've ever eaten! Man.. I miss school... Lol :)
kiran_fml 5
When I was in elementary school the food was amazing! Corn dogs, sloppy joes, pizza, teriyaki chicken... and more... and now I'm hungry.
StopDropNRoll 11
Yea I liked school food too once! Until I started eating the same thing over and over and over again for the next 12 years.
Vash_41288 10
The only time I loved eating at school was when they did the turkey dinner and spaghetti and meatballs idk if I was the only one the lol
ihatethesenamez 6
The only thing I like about school food is that it's free :)
Ressamies 6
-24 not scary but gory and I think that's what she was referring to.
Dbotmen 9
Not anymore, its not. You have to pay like $3 a DAY. That is too much for the bullshit they give us. The pizza tastes weird because they grind up vegetables into the dough! It's ******* disgusting!
nickiforever21 0
Why would you eat seafood tacos and a salad all in one?
noshatsherlockk 15
Why would you dare to eat seafood at a school cafeteria?
ohSNAPyall 27
Tuna, chips, cheese and lettuce doesn't sound so bad.
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
Seafood is bad enough! But at school...might as well be featured in the show Exotic Foods
rubberduckie94 13
More like bizarre food with what's his name You may as well eat school cafe bull testicles.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
At 18, Andrew Zimmern
The_Hitdude 12
18-I respected Andrew Zimmern until I saw that episode. I can never respect a guy that will eat another animal's balls...Imagine if the tables were flipped. *cups testicles in hands and rocks back and forth in corner.*
comedybreak 20
True, seafood spoils so easily it's not even worth buying large quantities of. But to eat the week old seafood at school? Disgusting.
rubberduckie94 13
Really. I Never heard of a school brave enough to serve seafood
jengers115 10
that bad eh?
muurph 4
Never eat school cafeteria food. Ever.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Im sorry but I really don't understand
2ndSucks 15
Food gross. It make OP sick.
ChrisTheCalm 9
Guess OP meant the carnage aftermath in the toilet ...
beansprout1114 3
I don't either.
SmittyJA24 26
Anything with onions / peppers does the same to me.
minisquid 9
Get the hell out of my office.
FlamingTacos 7
Burn baby, burn.
weatherxveins 29
appropriate username.
knsy 0
Seafood inferno
poopy1 0
Lmfao