Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML
Today, I learned that you should never take a girl you meet at the club home, even if she looks like she wouldn’t hurt a fly. We had the most amazing sex ever and I guess the edibles we had threw me off-guard. I woke up to find her gone and my house cleaned out. I didn’t even get her name. FML
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
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Top comments
H00K_M 8
You forgot to say she's pregnant.
meganasoarus 0
isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?
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Comments (163)
monkeyybabez 0
talkk about scaryy -______-
Garytt 0
she wants more
TheNewGuy03 29
...she must have liked it. you don't come back for something you don't like, unless you like shitty things. |the kid|
darknessnight19 0
she deff wants more..... but stds r on the way
blaze_1492 0
And she knows your address because...
fearfulsymmetry 1
Like everyone else on here, I'm wondering how on earth she got your address. Also, why did she have a suitcase with her?! Was she planning on moving in with you or something? **** that.
amazing54 1
Call the Canadian Mountie... they will roll in on horseback and hang the bitch!
FlyPhoenix 0
Sounds like she thought it was more than a one night stand...lmao
princesspixie 0
haha your ***** is a stalker. your life really sucks now
mustardcat 1
this is why u never give ur real address