Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML
Today, I used the last of my money to buy a bag of vending machine chips for dinner. It got stuck. A passerby saw and generously offered to buy another bag of the same chips to dislodge it. Gratefully, I accepted his offer. It stayed stuck. FML
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I spent way too long battling a vending machine that ate my dollar but didn’t give me my snack. After shaking it, kicking it, and practically hugging it, I finally gave up. As I walked away in defeat, it dropped the snack. I rushed back to claim my prize… and the janitor grabbed it before I could. FML
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Today, a kid got his hand stuck inside my store's giant gumball machine. He started crying, and his negligent trainwreck of a mom bitched me out for being "unobservant." I'd been mopping up the mess she'd made after she'd spilled an open can of beer all over the floor. FML
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Top comments
ThomasBombadil 31
Candy Crush!
Mynamewontfi 40
They've got their priorities straight.
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Comments (126)
FemskyD 26
Teenagers hm, theres a reason they have zits :) hope youre okay though!!
Laurenluvz 11
Re-read the FML. It said "The Guy". It doesn't necessarily mean him. OP could have been the one to help though.
rocker_chick105 31
We aren't all bad. The bad ones get more publicity.
tiernang 21
But... He lives in Canada...
silvercamaro 22
#22 I think you should re-read the comment too
Dontalktome 9
Zits? But the proactive commercial told me to blame biology!
teresa96706 29
#1 We can't all poof from childhood to adulthood like you. Beside your magical powers, I fail to see how obtaining zits has to do with a teenagers actions.
False_Stupidity 42
I think #1 was referring to them going for the free candy. Increased sugar levels often means more zits, at least it did for me back in the day.
whiteboy896 9
Pretty sure adults still get zits too...
R3C0V3RY101 10
"How many Good & Plenties did you get?" "Plenty." "Good."
LynxieLynx 17
#22 re-read it again. "the guy" means him/OP.
Orion_Knight78 10
#34, the FML must be fake then.
Mynamewontfi 40
They've got their priorities straight.
mkcontrollers 11
He most likely rocked the machine anyways. Going to say YDI
Rallred32 20
You came from -12 to 39. I applaud you.
mcr2000 11
get all the candy then help the guy
pinkster2014 25
Everyone wins!
Nilorak 24
I thought OP was the one stuck.
NinjaDitto623 14
Well, I mean, if you get all the candy out first, the machine would lose weight......
RinkuTheHero 13
And y'know. If you eat it all it would make it easier to get him free if it were to happen again.
False_Stupidity 42
And sugar gives you super-human strength to help get the machine off the guy. See, there is a certain logic to their actions.
Nilorak 24
I'll take you to the candy shop.
rhysfucker 24
Let him lick your lollipop?
SgtAssCheeks 21
Go ahead girl, don't you stop?
ItsMeDiegoG 8
Keep going till you hit the spot?
Neoking 4
Whoa!
False_Stupidity 42
FML, twisting ordinary events into something sexual since 2009.
ThomasBombadil 31
Love how someone from India is saying "brah". And isn't this why all of us visit FML? Just saying.Thanks FML for "finding a common denominator that brings us all together". Sex, love, money, life, death and "whatever turns our crank", aren't we all in the same boat, brah? Peace
meli1195 31
79, what??
MrDonSalvetti 27
Faith in Humanity... Still the same...-.-
ThomasBombadil 31
Candy Crush!
yeti37 16
Awesome! You won the comment section here today.
albinochipmunks 7
Somebody needs to send OP an extra life.
MAD01502 20
Quick question though... How did it end on top of you?
Mightytall 35
I want to know that too
happle 21
Trying to get free candy?
SnazzyPotter 17
I was thinking that since the vending machine was broken that he might have been a mechanic trying to fix it and something went wrong causing it to fall on him. I would still like a follow up to find out though.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
Probably tried rocking it back and forth after the candy got stuck.
MAD01502 20
That's just plain stupid, mate...
Wizardo 34
Just making the machine lighter so you can rescue the poor ****** underneath it.
girlbye23 15
And you're surprised why? I think we all know that teens value food over people!
JonDG 12
the sad sad truth about who will be in control of our planets future
MrsPlague 11
I wish I could that I'm surprised. Sorry, OP.
Rallred32 20
Like, what?
PotterHead_DH 26
I wish that I could pretend that I'm surprised.*
NinjaDitto623 14
Or: I wish I could say I was suprised*