Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
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Top comments
Entheatus 13
Your dad is a moron. FYL.
JockeyGirl 0
haha wtf
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Comments (384)
eminemXshady 0
over reaction much ?
jannie22 0
no not at all XD :s sarcasm:s
egaul 0
that sucks ducks!
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Ok, wow, because we all know that's a reasonable reaction. I don't want to jump to the conclusion that your dad has anger issues because for all I know it could be that he's perfectly reasonable in every other situation and it was just some repressed anger from some past incident has come out. I do however feel that no matter what the reason for his reaction, he should probably seek some professional help. I would also recommend that you avoid making these particular kind of jokes around him in the future because it seems to be a topic he has really strong feeling's on. I hope that you and him will find a way to move past this because no matter what, you'll still be genetically connected.
MisterMuffinz 13
Yeah totally. Cuz guys get pregnet from girls all the time.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I am fully aware that doesn't happen. My thought is that the dad may have only really heard the word "pregnant" coming out of his little girl's mouth, without really hearing anything else. I'm not saying his reaction makes sense, I am just saying he may not have really heard what she was saying but what he did hear upset him enough for him to react without taking time to comprehend.
YouCanHaveACoke 0
Yeah, that's kind of the point of the FML, buddy. He only heard "pregnant" and went Hulk on her.
A7X_LoVeee 10
^this.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I understood that as well, I just meant maybe he's not always this irrational and that there is a reason his reaction was a strong as it was.
A7X_LoVeee 10
My comment was directed at 42 btw. ;)
heathersmorin 0
Attention everyone: We now have our very own FML therapist!! Please post your own FML and I'm sure she'll be glad to help you. Happy FMLing
sparta98 4
I like you, chibichibi. The eloquence is a nice change from all of the bad grammar.
PhilMcHawk 7
TL;DR
vettle 6
aren't you a peach 141.
heathersmorin 0
Well, thank you and I sure do love do my peaches!
sjhcheerleader 0
Hha[:
beelzeboss_fml 0
Dont try and sound intelligent on this website all you do is make people think your a pretentious asshole
katieebug 0
well now you know it's not safe to tell your dad if you reallyyy get pregnant... yikes D:
inarticulating 0
whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? wow.
marissabunge23 0
hahaha..that kinda sucks!
briidontgive_ 0
Kinda ? Her life is fcked ! On the other hand op, ask for a better laptop, and better phone, then not so bad .
soccerchick_1994 8
lmao your dad is an idiot. how did he miss the line whe you got your boyfriend pregnant? lmao
PandaScholar 0
that's hilarious...
rachelaguren 0
ahhhhhahaha! that's kinda funny(:
What_Exactly 0
My fiancées dad did the same thing when he joked that he was pregnant. I think parents just overreact to the words pregnant and sex even when you are engaged